Cancel the Newspaper Subscription and Visit Your Local Barbershop

Most businesses will not let you inside before the "Closed" sign is flipped over to "Open".

It is ten minutes till nine in the morning and the Lewis' can be seen getting their trimmers ready for the day and applying a final dusting to the chairs and long, "wait your turn" benches that have been sitting along the wall for more than thirty five years.

Dan Lewis, Sr. notices me at the door. I wave at him, my nose not an inch from the frosted storm window. Dan Sr. says something to Dan Jr. and the younger Lewis glances up at the clock above the benches before walking over to the door.

"Good morning," he says in his deep, baritone voice as I stomp the snow from my boots. "Looks like you caught us a bit early."

Dan Sr. looks over his shoulder at me while he works on trimmers. "Hey, bw. How are you, this morning?"

"Doing good, Dan," I say, as I hang my jacket on the coat tree by the door. "Getting hot out there, isn't it?"

The old man laughs as he looks outside at the snow. "If it gets any hotter I'll have to get another air conditioner."

Dan Jr. dusts off the chair at his station. "How do you want it cut?"

"Give me a flat top, Dan. But leave about a half inch on top, if you would."

Dan Sr. laughs in a single, shouting, "Ha! You don't have a half inch up there now!"

The haircut does not take five minutes. While Dan Jr. works on my flat top, four men walk inside. Three of them are farmers and one is Pastor of the local Baptist church. I know that I would be a fool to leave after Dan's work was done.

The weather is always the first thing to be mentioned. The Pastor and the farmers are quick to bring up the infamous "Blizzard of '78" and stories of near death and perseverance during that big storm are shared between the six men. Never being one to want left out of a conversation, I quickly bring up the "Blizzard of '96" and my story is met with sighs, shrugs and glances that say, "Get a load of this dumb kid."

It is the Pastor that cracks open the political chatter. The republican preacher starts off by praising the name of George Bush while keeping his eyes on Dan Sr. The Pastor keeps going on about how the Republican Party is doing the "work of God" while "GW Bush is leading the nation, if not the entire world, into a better direction."

Here come the clippers. Dan Sr. stops cutting the hair of one of the farmers and steps two feet in front of the Pastor, talking loud and waving the clippers that are still buzzing out their single note song into the air. What follows is a barrage of barbershop wisdom that begins with, "Let me tell you something about George W. Bush, Pastor..." Dan Jr., who is sweeping the floor around his chair, is heard, "Easy, Dad. Easy."

After Dan Sr. gets the last word in over his political adversary, local news is brought up by Dan Jr. The group of men then discusses many important matters that can only be brought up in a small town. Farmer #1 opens the floor with how disgusted he is that the city council has yet to hire someone to remove the Christmas decorations from the lampposts. "Hell, I'll get my ladders and the boys together and we'll remove the damn things!" says Farmer #3, laughing. "I could use the money."

Dan, Sr. then gets another shot in at the Pastor. "I don't know," he says, eyeballing the height level of Farmer #2's hair. "But I sure do wish GW Bush would get someone to straighten up the sidewalk in front of the Baptist Church soon before somebody breaks their damn neck trying to get to the post office."