Caring for the Elderly - A Gradual Process

As family members grow older and suffer from more illnesses and ailments the issue of caring for them in their advanced ages can become a serious problem. While it is easy to plan to care for older parents or grandparents in their senior years unforeseen medical and financial situations can make home care extremely difficult or impossible. As the issue of rising healthcare cost for the elderly comes into public light more options are being made available to help families cope with this potentially stressful situation. For most families there are three realistic options available to them.

1. The elderly family member can remain independent and live on his or her own with a helper or home health nurse.
2. Extended family (children, siblings, or other relatives) can take the elderly member into their home and care for them.
3. The elderly family member can be placed into an assisted living facility.

For many people who are advancing in age maintaining their independence is extremely important and the first option is the most acceptable. Having a helper come by to mow the lawn, do strenuous house hold tasks, and provide companionship is really all some elderly people need. These helpers can be found by placing ads in the local newspaper, many classified sections even have a category for senior care advertisements.

If the family member is suffering from an illness or injury that involves more advance care a home nurse is preferable to a helper. Often assisted living facilities and major health care systems have programs available that will assign nurses or nursing assistants a 'patient' to care for. These home nurses will go to the home of the patient several times a week (or in some cases every day) and provide medical care in addition to helping with chores around the house. While these nurses can be more useful than a helper these services can be extremely expensive and rather than hire a nurse to care for a family member in their home many families will ask the elderly member of the family to live with a younger relative.

The decision to have an elderly family member move in with a child or younger sibling should be a group decision. It is important that everyone is comfortable with the living arrangements and if the senior member of the family needs special medical care all members of the household should feel comfortable providing some level of assistance. If it is seen that the situation is not going to work or if the family member needs more care than anticipated searching for assisted living facilities should be the next step.

A casual glance at your local yellow pages will give you the name of dozens of assisted living communities but in many cases the senior family members primary physician should be consulted. They will have an intimate knowledge of the patients' needs and preferences, which will be essential in finding a suitable community. Also nurses and other workers and local hospitals will know the name of various nursing homes and how they are run. Once a few potential homes have been found it is important that the family visit them often at different times during the day to get a feel for how things are run and how the staff treats the patients.

In the end the final decision should be left up to the senior family member. While it is important for us as family members to look out for each other we must remember that in spite of advanced age many elderly family members are still vibrant active adults and should be treated as such. Discuss the various options and, above all else, communicate with each other and those in the community that can help make the difficult transition easier.