Carpe Diem: ESPN 2 Gives Me Reason to Get Out of Bed

Every weekday morning, around 10 AM, I turn on the television to watch the most inspirational man in modern society. Without him, I wouldn't be able to make it through the day. The show is ESPN's First Take, The man in question is Skip Bayless.

Don't know who he is? No biggie, he's just a bitter old sports reporter that's featured is a segment called 1st & 10. Skip, along with another reporter who has nothing better to do, gets to weigh in on 10 topics relating to current events in the sports world. Not a revolutionary concept, but it's still very entertaining.

the gimmick: Skip relentlessly hates on a small group of professional athletes. Hate doesn't seem like a strong enough word. Skip Bayless likes to carry two Desert Eagles, equipped with angst bullets, and fire off at some of North America's top athletes.

At some point, this hatred became somewhat perverse as Skip started giving out nicknames for the people he hated the most. Allen Iverson is referred to as "Me, Myself and Iverson", Kevin Garnet(who Skip says "looks like Tarzan, but plays like Jane") is "Kevin Garnot". His favorite targets are Lebron James and Terrel Owens.

"LeBrick James" is often chastised for being a horrid three-point shooter. That's a valid argument. There are times when he tries to takeover games, but his shot is missing in action. But he also likes to hark on LeBron's love for New York sports teams. Bayless feels LeBron is disrespectful to Cleveland fans when he wears a Yankee hat at public appearances in the off season.

Yeah, he really thinks Cav's fans are going to riot whenever this guy wears sports gear, not related to any Cleveland team, during the NBA off season. I think they only worry about him staying healthy. Everything else is just blah to them. As long as he shows up the next season, and takes the team far in the playoffs, it's all gravy.

T.O. is by far Skip's favorite target. ESPN 2's ranting lunatic feels Terrel Owens is corrupt, and a slave to his alter ego known as T.O. He has charisma, and in the past, he has been a lighting rod for controversy. I've noticed a change in Owens. Bayless verbally punishes the guy for his past actions.

How can this guy be an inspiration? Skip represents everything I dislike about people in general. There are times when people can be really uptight for no reason. Some will jump at the chance to call "foul!" regarding anything that's a little offbeat.

At the very least, he comes off as the definition of consistency. He always targets certain athletes for silly reasons. His conspiracy theories relating to T.O. seem more asinine by the day. According to Skip, everything "Team Obliterator" does is designed dismantle whatever organization he's playing for at the time.

If T.O. did a post game interview, and sneezed 4 times during, Skip would probably go on a tirade. I can only imagine his comments on 1st & 10 the next day; "You See, The artist formerly known as Terrell Owens, has now resorted to biological warfare! Jason Whiten will be too busy vomiting on the sidelines to help the cowboys next week. T.O. has once again ruined a perfectly good Football team!"

His uptight and stuffy demeanor has a strange affect on me. While I absolutely disagree with the majority of Skip's comments, his overall message inspires me. This guy would love to live in a world where people show no emotion what so ever, everyone is a shut in, and all self promotion would be screened by a faceless overlord before done publicly.

Some people believe in a secret government who seek to control society(often referred to as the Free Masons or Illuminati). Well, Skip comes off as the type of person who would welcome that sort of thing. He inspires me to get up and enjoy my time in a free world. A society were creativity and unique personality are(for the most part) welcomed, not shunned.

If there was a Skip Bayless in charge, I'm not sure if freedom would be a reality for long.