Casa Bonita Survival Guide

Made famous by an episode of "South Park" where antagonist Eric Cartman takes extreme measures to visit the faux-Mexican restaurant during a birthday party, Casa Bonita has been a popular restaurant for both locals and tourists of Colorado. My girlfriend and I managed to visit the restaurant while on vacation in Denver and had by far one of the most unique restaurant experiences there. It definitely is a restaurant you really have to visit at least once in your life. And here are a few tips to ensure a better experience.

Wear comfortable shoes and dress warm on the weekends.
I have no idea how popular the place is on weeknights. But the place was ridiculously crowded on the Saturday night we visited. Casa Bonita does not take reservations except for parties and even party guests cannot cut through the long line outside. So we ended up waiting in line for about an hour. We got to converse with friendly Denver locals and their families while waiting and being glad it was not really raining much. But in any case, be prepared to stand in a line that makes Disneyland feel quaint. A good iPhone app or book will also help kill time.

You are here for the experience, not the food.
Despite being a restaurant, Casa Bonita is not famous for its food. I heard various opinions ranging from being a little worse than Taco Bell to bland yet filling to even completely awful. Two local sources forewarned us to eat something more satisfying before setting foot in Casa Bonita. We ate a late lunch that lasted us through the long line and found ourselves able to eat a little once we took our seats.

Casa Bonita is faux-Mexican with large platters of food resembling tacos, burritos, and Mexican combo plates. Everyone over the age of two is required to purchase a meal no matter how potentially unsatisfying it is. They have an all-you-can-eat platter with a variety of food. In theory, you spread your appetite across various items and you can have more of an item you may actually like. The safest bet we took that night were beef and chicken taco salads. At $11.29, they were the cheapest offerings. And salads are pretty much idiot proof food. All they had to do was slice fresh vegetables and put the meat on the side. They were delicious for what they were.

Waterfall seating is best.
Casa Bonita has a LOT of stuff going around the interior. There are puppet shows, a spooky cave belonging to a Black Bart, a souvenir shop, an arcade, costumed photo stations, and a wandering Mariachi band. But the central focus of the restaurant is the 30 ft-if memory serves me correctly-waterfall cliff. This cliff is where you will watch most of the live entertainment including an Indiana Jones parody, a wild gorilla on the loose, a pirate duel, a Western showdown, and the cliff divers. No matter how cheesy or childish the acts are, the performers put a lot into entertaining the crowd and do make the shows fun. But the fun is best seen from your table that faces the cliff so you can eat while watching. The halls tend to fill with Casa Bonita patrons who did not get good seating as they stand to watch the show. And the live entertainment tends to run through the halls as part of their performances. So make it a point to ask for waterfall seating.

Leave Black Bart's Cave and the arcade to the children.
Casa Bonita offers arcade tokens as part of a meal deal. But for the discerning adult arcade gamer, the games are nothing to write home about. Black Bart's Cave can be fun once, but the little children screaming or worse inside the cave leave much to be desired. So let the kids run around there while you enjoy another beer during the cliff diver show.

Sopaipillas are divine. Well, as divine as this place gets.
Dinner at Casa Bonita includes sopaipillas for dessert. These light, airy pastry equivalents of pillows are arguably the best things on the menu when drizzled with honey. Since they are free, have as much as you want for dessert with a wave of your flag.

Despite its usual absurd humor and occasional gross out visual, the "South Park" episode of Casa Bonita is pretty much an accurate video tour of the restaurant. The main difference is that the cliff is a lot shorter than the cartoon interpretation. It is understandable that a kid like Cartman or any kid would be willing to go through such lengths for a trip to Casa Bonita.