Cashmere Mafia: Sex in the City II or More?

I watched the premiere of Cashmere Mafia Sunday night. My first thought was that it was a Sex in the City copycat. Especially with the specific group of four women. The only difference being that the main character seems to be an ethnic Lucy Lui, not white, Sarah J. P. However this show does seem to be quite a bit different. There are a few mom's, a possible gay character and the whole setup is based more around women trying to balance and juggle everyday life than being disappointed by Mr. Big or trying to kick a smoking habit.

The most pivotal moment for me was when one of the characters was told by the three others that her husband was cheating on her. She cried a little and mentioned how much she hated it, but it was no big shocker. In essence they told a story that women have been living for years but from a viewpoint that isn't often told. Cheating in our society is cause for divorce. You should burn all his clothes, expose and harass his mistress and see him in court where you try to take him for all he is worth. In other words, play the victim role to the bank.

Rarely ever is the responsibility taken and the good and bad in the relationship is weighed. She didn't excuse his behavior. She said she found it hurtful, however she acknowledged that being married to her was probably no dream either. She admitted she no longer wanted to date, had a desire to be rescued by her knight and shining armor or be a single mother. With his latest love affair, he had however broken a rule concerning location, location, location and for that there would be hell to pay.

When you look at the statistics, half of all marriages end and roughly 30-60% experience infidelity. This being conservative "statistics". Yet for some reason, we raise our eyebrows and gawk at the thought that someone we were married to, ourselves or someone we know could or would "cheat".

As you get older, you realize more and more that there are many things in this life that you have little to no control over. One of them is who you fall in love with or often what they do. It is quite possible that you can be in relationships where you control or think you have control whether it be in a marriage with children or even friendships, but what fun are they? Also they can take your focus off of the important stuff and cause you to miss out on the enjoyable stuff.

It's not to say that you should allow someone to abuse you, however abuse is often a debatable issue. Women have always gotten the bad rap of being victimized by domestic violence. I remember working in college with an older woman who had a boyfriend that drank a lot. One day he came in with a broke arm. I asked her what had happened to him and apparently he had gotten a little frisky with his hands while he was in one of his drunken states. She was rescued by a baseball bat. I think he'll think twice before ever laying another hand on her and there will be no need for her to call a hotline, get an order of protection that probably would be ineffective or call home crying.

So the next few episodes will show the woman who could have been a victim trying to make good on her threat to her husband that she in turn will now find her own lover. In my mind this could be too time consuming when you have other things you would rather focus on and achieve in your life, however for some it may serve a purpose and be worthwhile action. You are only abused or a victim if you allow yourself to be. You have three options of empowerment when it comes to you feeling that you are being treated unfairly in a relationship. You can either leave, play the game and hit the ball back or understand it is what it is and is up to you how you swallow or deal with it. There are always things in life that we choose to deal with because the benefits seem to outweigh the costs. There are many spouses that have knowingly stayed in a relationship where they knew the other spouse was having an affair or not faithful. They would need to wear gloves and protect themselves emotionally and hopefully physically as well but they didn't see the need to make a movie or a public announcement. I suppose that drama is better left in Hollywood because in real life it happens all the time.

Sources: http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/quizzes/public/infidelity_statistics.html