Casting Lynne Spears' "Through the Storm" Movie

After releasing her much publicized book, "Through The Storm," Lynne Spears garnered tons of controversy and backlash for purportedly capitalizing on daughter Britney Spears' personal struggles. Outing Britney for being an alleged cocaine user and promiscuous at an early age, Lynne Spears is one-upping herself by now reportedly shopping her tell all book around to studios as a prospective movie.

Personally, I don't think that "Through the Storm" would make a good studio film. Maybe it could be a made-for-television masterpiece for Lifetime, but I don't think anyone would shell out $9 to see it in movie theatres - especially when you can just watch the drama unfold on Perez Hilton. Lynne Spears reportedly has also made her picks for the actresses to play both she and her eldest daughter. According to The Sun, Lynne would choose "The House Bunny" star Anna Farris to play Britney (not bad, not bad), and, get this - Oscar Winner Julia Roberts to play herself.

Really, Lynne Spears? Julia Roberts? Really?

Farris wouldn't be a bad choice to play Britney. But I think that in light of Britney's admirable efforts to make a come back, maybe she deserves a more dignified actress to play her, like Katherine Heigl or Reese Witherspoon. But what about the other characters in the Spears soap opera? Keisha Castle-Hughes could make a decent Jamie Lynne, considering that she can draw from her own personal experiences as a pregnant teen - and of course, because she can actually act.

Eminem could make his sophomore effort as an actor by portraying Kevin Federline. All he would have to do is downplay his genuine rapping skills, and he's perfect for the role. Only a big bad mess like Courtney Love could make a decent cousin Alli. And how about professional enabler and pseudo manager Osama Lufti? I don't think anyone can quite pull off Lufti like Lufti, so maybe it would be a good idea to give the old chap one more moment in the spotlight before he disappears into obscurity forever.

As for Lynne herself, we definitely need a famous mom who can draw from her own experiences to really capture Mrs. Spears. Julia Roberts is probably busy being a good mother to her children, so she's definitely out of the running. But there is one celebrity mom who has nothing but time on her hands; time that she's currently squandering by partying hard and living it up in the pages of East Coast lifestyle magazines. Thus, I am awarding the role of Lynne Spears to the only woman qualified to play a money hungry "momager" - Dina Lohan.