Casualties of War: Children of Vietnam Veterans

My father was young when he entered the service, it was go to war or go to jail, so he chose the military. He left behind a young wife and two young daughters. He never really came home again.

My father was never the same when he came home. He was forced into the service and he decided to go airborne. My father used to hitchhike home about every weekend to see us. His military record shows many article 15 for AWOL, late coming back to duty on Monday morning. One Monday he left and would not come home for quite some time, he was on his way to Vietnam. I wanted to write this article because I think that there are casualties of war that should be recognized. The children of theVietnam veterans, some of us lost our fathers in war and some of us lost our fathers after the war.

My father was a young, blond, handsome man, he could turn a ladies head in a heartbeat. He came home and things did not work out between my mother and my father. I have a brother that resulted from another relationship that looks just like my dad. My father was spirited and raised a little hell, out ran the cops, little disorderly conduct but nothing real serious.

My father came home a different man, he was careless and drank a lot. I used to take his whiskey bottle, empty it and fill it with water, there came a time, once he would be so drunk he would not know the difference. He worked his job in the coal mine and drank, that was his life. He would get in that old convertible, put the roof down and go as fast as he could. It became obvious he had a death wish and truly needed help, help that he never received.

My father took his life in March 1972, he was 27 years old. His children were 6 and 5 year old girls and an infant son.

My father was found with the phone cord wrapped around him as if he was doing circles. The gunshot wound to his chest symbolized to me that his heart was no longer there. I don't know if that was what he was trying to say but that is how I interpreted.

I miss my father, I missed him every time I ran into trouble and he wasn't there to give me advice, I missed him at my graduation from high school, the military and college.

Today I am a veterans representative, I see my father in the eyes of the young men who return from deployment today. The ones that seem real far away, I drift with into conversation with and ask the pertinent questions. I tell them my story, from a child's point of view.

It took my years to forgive my father, I did not know why he left me, I was only a child. Children take this stuff personally, a parent is their world at such a tender age. I considered him selfish and that the only one he cared about was himself.

As I grew older, I realize that I could never possibly understand his pain and torture. I only hope that the troops coming home today will get the help they need, if not for themselves, then do it for the child who has got to live with out you. If you are suffering from any thing after returning, get the help. Your family deserves to have you back, we miss you, the old you.

My father came home a different man, his soul is somewhere running around that foreign country where his innocence and