Catholic Guilt and Other Insanity

While on my way to work one day, listening to that one crackling speaker in the car the mice haven't yet completely chewed the wire to, I heard that there is a new phone application for the most devout of Catholics. Have you got some catholic guilt hanging around? Is it weighing on your conscience? Is it so serious a case of blatant disregard for the golden rule that you don't think you are going to make it until Sunday to go to proper confession?



Don't worry your new Nazi pope who has determined television and computers to be a mortal sin doesn't feel that way about cell phones and he has graciously provided for his flock. For a mere $1.99 (a real bargain if you consider how much you spend on the proper dress for church, the gas to get there, the not so loose change you put in the passed-around-twice per mass collection basket, and the wear and tear on your knees while doing the cath-aerobics.) you can download an application that allows you to beam you sins to the -- hmmmm -- where do they go to? I'm going to have to guess it goes to heaven.com or perhaps my blueheaven.org as but maybe that depends on if the sin you are confessing is considered to be blue. Not that it really matters where it goes because the pope has sanctioned it and since he is the only true link to godliness you have no worries that some thieving liar is poaching your cash and not absolving you. So whatever the sin is you are beaming out there soon they will beam you back the absolution prescription of twenty Hail Mary's to save your soul.



And now for the insanity part of this blog (HA! I kill me!) We've spent a lot of time in the car recently. Some of the conversation swirled around cartoons. Of course no good cartoon conversation could take place without a little Sponge Bob banter. As we spoke my fifteen year old said "I never realized when I was young (I cracked a smile at that since he is mid-teens now) how much sexual innuendo there is in Sponge Bob." He then went on to site an example where Sponge Bob tells Patrick his genius is showing and Patrick proceeds to look shocked, cover his crotch and say, "It is? Where?" I guess it's inevitable that the kids eventually grow up enough to know why we are laughing at their cartoons.



On the other hand I want to know why Wonder Woman has an invisible jet when she's not invisible in it? Have you ever considered how you would work on an invisible jet? How do you even find it to work on it? Fifteen says the whole point of it is to screw with people as you fly by in a seated position. Personally I think the woman didn't know she could fly so some enterprising soul sold her a bill of goods and a make believe plane. I bet it's a real bitch if she moves it around the hanger at the Hall Of Justice. I can just see Batman laid out flat as he clunks his giant plastic ears off the invisible fuselage on his way to the bat copter. Maybe Wonder Woman secretly chuckles while she watches from the sidelines then uses her cell phone ot call the sinners hot line. Maybe she even wraps herself in her lasso of truth as she confesses her love of schadenfreude. But if you're a super hero do you sin? Do you have schadenfreude? Can you be absolved? After all, confession is meant for mere mortals.


Be Safe.