CBS News Producer Indicted in $2 Million Letterman Extortion Scheme

David Letterman's comic delivery is supposed to look ad-libbed, but it fell short when the CBS Late Night comedian told his audience about this visit that day to a grand jury downtown. Instead of tossing off the glib lines which characterize his brand of humor, Letterman appeared to be sweating bullets as he recounted the general details of the two million dollar extortion scheme. The audience seemed caught off balance, too, and when they laughed, the laughter had a hollow sound and seemed to take a dead cat bounce. Except for the drama, Letterman's glibness had evaporated into the dull, highly abstracted drone of an Obama speech.

Just a few hours after David Letterman's admission, more details have come out on the latest celebrity drama to hit the small screen. I couldn't tell whether MSNBC's Mika Brezinski was bragging or complaining this morning when she told her own audience she was a good friend of the 51-year-old CBS producer, Robert (Joe) Halderman. Halderman has produced many news style projects at CBS, most recently the true crime show "48 Hours."

The story, de rigeur on all the morning talk shows, tells how, a couple of weeks ago, Letterman found an extortion note in his car from the blackmailer threatening to go public with the comic superstar's sexual liaisons with his employees at CBS. After pondering his predicament, Letterman went to the district attorney's office and told them about the scheme. Letterman was told by the D.A.'s office to write a phony check and deliver it to the man, which he did. That was enough for the grand jury indictment; the man has now been arrested.

The sexual escapades and infidelities of celebrities is not a crime, or most of our entertainment would be broadcast from inside the prison system. But David Letterman's image problems are huge. The defendant, caught red-handed, has virtually no defense, and will be expected to plead guilty, hoping that the court will grant leniency in sentencing. This scenario is the desired one for Letterman, but the story is certain to attract high ratings and so the pundit armies will descend upon it and follow it to the bitter end. The women involved with Letterman will have to be identified, the number counted, the lurid details on display.

Perhaps the most damaging aspect of Letterman's show last night was the way in which he presented the information. After acknowledging the truth of his libertine escapades, and sarcastically dismissing the "creepiness" of his extortionist, Letterman said: "Yes, it's embarrassing for me..." but then went on to say it was more embarrassing for the women involved. And why would that be, David Letterman?

Is it because you will be regarded as somehow the hero, with your celebrity "sexual prowess" headlining the marquee and your possible sexual harassment of employees suppressed out of concern for the celebrity "greater good?" Is it because you're hopelessly stuck in the mentality of 17^th century Boston where your bevy of Hester Prynnes will be led to the powerful media scaffold if they don't reveal the "father" of their indiscretions? Or maybe, with that remark, we are to see you as the shining White Knight, riding to defend the honor of debauched, servant women.

Your media image is "cool" but your view of the matter is "not cool." It shows the lack of social consciousness you so frequently impugn in others, most notably, the children of political celebrities. Because of your public admission, I suppose your audience is now supposed to admire your integrity because you wanted get out in front of the story before full details of the criminal case became known. Of course, you wouldn't be the popular funny man you are if you didn't try desperately for some laughs. But don't you get it that deprecating women is just not funny any more?

I'll bet that most of your time of the last two weeks was spent pondering whether you could get away with paying the two million and never hearing of the matter again. You would have done that if you thought you could have gotten away with it without anyone knowing. You would have.

Sources: MSNBC "Morning Joe" program; Fox News Website at: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,559005,00.html