CBS Sunday Morning Airs Segment on Bullying

The old adage "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" is more than untrue, it's dangerous rhetoric that dismisses the rights of the bullied. Words do hurt. Words not only hurt, those hurts leave lasting scars that can affect self-esteem, future relationships, and, in the worst of scenarios, can result in lives ended too soon.

This morning, January 9^th, CBS Sunday Morning aired a segment on the subject of bullying. Reporter Tracy Smith interviewed a bullied child, a couple of girls who are bullies, a mother of one of the bullies, and the principal at Irving Middle School, who believes his bullying intervention program is making successful strides.

The show appalled me. Primarily, I was disgusted by Stephanie's mother. Stephanie is a bully at her school. According to the program, it began as she harassed a classmate, once her friend, on the issue of his sexual orientation.

Stephanie's mother's attitude is the root of the problem. If it wasn't for the unfortunate fact that I have met many mothers just like her, I would have been astonished as she defended her daughter with the statement: she is "sticking up for herself". The fact that this mother would not only defend her daughter's bullying behavior but would go on CBS Sunday Morning and do so shows the root of the bullying problem. How does badgering a classmate about being "gay" constitute sticking up for herself? As long as parents, like Stephanie's mother, justify and make excuses for their children, the bullying will not go away.

This is a subject I do not speak about lightly or without experience. For those of you who have read some of my other articles, you may be aware that I was the target of bullies for many years in elementary, jr. high school, and into high school. As a substitute teacher and parent, I have been exposed to the OLWEUS bullying intervention program. In addition, as a substitute teacher I have witnessed modern-day bullying much more often than I would like. While bullying behavior does not take much intellect, these bullies are smart. Much of it is done verbally, which cannot be policed unless the teacher actually hears the bully saying something. These kids know when and where to spout off. They know the lines not to cross unless they are prepared for serious consequences.

Stephanie seems to know these lines as well. As the show reported, she repeatedly asked her classmate, "Are you gay? Are you gay?" in the classroom, with a teacher present. It wasn't until the boy yelled out "I'm not gay" did the adult in the room take notice. As did everyone else. I see this scenario over and over again.

In a poll revealed at the end of the CBS Sunday Morning segment, it was reported that 54% of those asked stated that they had either rarely or never been bullied. Nearly one half of those polled reported being bullied at some level. The numbers don't surprise me as I would make an uneducated guess that a good portion of those who were never bullied were, in fact, the bullies.

While the principal from Irving Middle School believes his stance of taking on bullies one at a time is working, basically that's really all a school can do. Teachers and school administrators are not parents. As long as parents do not see bullying as a problem and as long as parents like Stephanie's mother continue to justify their child's behavior rather than making a determined effort to change it, bullying is going to continue and more of our precious children are going to be harmed - some irreparably.