Celebrating the NHL Playoff Beard

It's NHL playoffs season, which means it's really playoff beard season. The playoff beard is one of the greatest - if not the greatest - sports tradition we currently have. Closely coinciding with two large religious holidays, Easter and Passover, the zealots of hockey in this time of year begin their holiest of holies, the pursuit of the Stanley Cup.

In all other times of the year, the only thing discussed about the appearance of hockey players is their smashed noses and their missing teeth. Why then, in these two months, do we care about the lack of grooming for their facial hair, known as the playoff beard? In all other sports there is no such thing as a playoff beard. Why then, in the hockey playoffs, does the playoff beard appear?

NHL Playoff Beard Facts

The NHL playoff beard is theorized as coming into practice during the reign of the New York Islanders 1980s dynasty. It begins at the start of each playoff season, when the players on teams which are still alive stop shaving. However, teams battling to make it into the postseason in the closing games of the regular season may begin a pre-beard to simulate playoff conditions.

Shaving does not commence for players until their team is eliminated from the playoffs. The NHL playoffs last for two months. They are a battle of endurance, strength and will. Despite this length of time and its required fortitude, hilarity and embarrassment ensues as otherwise notable players such as Sidney Crosby, Daniel Briere and others fail to establish any form of recognizable facial hair.

How does the NHL playoff beard compare to other notable sports traditions?

NHL Playoff Beard vs. Football Gatorade Dumping - While the NFL Gatorade dump was once a great tradition, it has become overdone, with only moderate successes being celebrated. Additionally, you waste an otherwise drinkable beverage and ruin the attire of the coach, which incidentally, is not a problem for Bill Belichick. Edge: Playoff Beard

NHL Playoff Beard vs. College Basketball Net Cutting - Let's see, slowly lumbering up a ladder to remove an obstruction from a tall piece of property. Sounds too much like childhood chores for my tastes. Edge: Playoff Beard

NHL Playoff Beard vs. Golf "Get in the Hole" - While shouting at a golf ball to "get in the hole" as soon as a player hits his shot seems fun and cathartic in some fashion, it has also become overused, with farmer-tanned spectators shouting it during routine tee shots. No matter how hard you shout, Tiger still won't hang out with you. Edge: Playoff Beard

NHL Playoff Beard vs. Baseball Walk Off Hit Celebration - The walk off hit celebration in baseball is a great tradition. It's one of the few times that major leaguers display a profound joy and a palpable sense of camaraderie with one another. However, injuries seem to be a major concern, and smothering a guy who just blooped a single into shallow left seems somewhat anti-climactic. Edge: Playoff Beard

NHL Playoff Beard vs. Drinking Beer from the Stanley Cup - This is a tough one, much like the infamous, "Who wins, Ditka, or God?" situation. One could say since the playoff beard leads to the ability to drink beer from the Stanley Cup it is superior. However, one could also say that since winning the Stanley Cup is the ultimate goal, to drink beer or another beverage of choice from said trophy is the superior tradition. Edge: Tie

Conclusion - NHL Playoff Beards are Supreme

It is clear through this exhaustive scientific analysis that the NHL playoff beard is the greatest sports tradition our society enjoys. Genius is rarely appreciated in its own time, and that is the ultimate tragedy of the playoff beard and the courageous men who grow them.