Celebrating the Women in My Life

She's my Mama!
I do not know what went to heaven means;
Mama; where are you?
You got sick so fast and left that day;
Mama; I cant find you? Are you Okay?
I have looked everywhere?
What does sleep with Jesus mean?
Did I do something wrong Mama?
How will I get hugs, eat, sleep?
Who will love me and be my Mama?
The lady in the casket, Is that you?
Where is your smile and laugh?
I hugged you and kissed you goodnight.
But you aren't you anymore.
Daddy said you are now a rainbow!
Grandma said you are an Angel!
Great Granny said you are a butterfly.
I miss you being my Mama
Your little girl, annamaria

This second poem was in 1957 when my paternal Grandmaw Carrie died:

Grandmaw; did you find Mama yet?
Daddy said you were in heaven with her.
Will you take care of each other?
I cant see you anymore.
I miss your eyes and smiling hugs
Daddy said your heart broke down and you died.
My heart is broken down to from loosing you.
Aunt Caroline said to always remember you and Mama
Great Granny said to pray to show my love for you and Mama
My prayer is that you are safe and happy always
and that you will come an visit me if you need a hug or smile
I am not allowed to look for you or Mama anymore
Aunt Helen said to do my crafts you taught me
and not to worry that you and Mama are in a smiling garden.
Grandmother Blanche taught me"Infinity" and to say nice things

This third poem was in 1958
Today I am cold and hungry by myself
Where is my family? I cant find anyone to help me today?
I am staying in the stall at the fairgrounds and
cleaning up after horses to get food and a warm stall
There are no women here yet but I will pray for them
The policewomen said that I have to go with her.
I cried I want to stay close to the cemetery and our houses;
just in case you decide you miss me.
The policewoman's name is Gladys and she asks me what I am doing?
I told her I am trying to stay alive.
She took me to the children's home and they hurt me there.
I run away everyday; they are very mean to me.
I ran away to St. Joseph's on the hill to the Sister's
Sister Vera washed my hair and gave me an orange
She and I talk alot and she loves you all very much.
Sister Vera said I do not have to go back to the children's home
When the police come Sister Vera hids me.
I love her; she is like a Mama and Grandma love.
I am okay unless the police find me.
Hope you are okay to.

This fourth poem was in 1960
Today the policewoman Gladys found me hiding in the sewer
The sewer over by the river and bridge.
She was mad at me for running away.
She took me to Detention Home and gave me a hug but no smiling.
The lady at the detention center said,"Girlie you need a bath and some food.
I told her no I need a Mama and a Grandmaw and to get my Daddy out of the prison hosptial.
Her name was just-lady and she let me cry and scream and talk and smile
She said she was going to talk to the police and find me a good home real soon.
Miss Lady did find me a home; her housekeeper took me in for a while.
Then I had to go to see a judge who put me in a foster home.
My foster mother was Carol; she was real nervous a lot
She kept me until I was 18 and taught me to be a nice clean female
She kept me alive and fed me but rarely ever smiled or was happy.
She cried the day I moved out though. She prays everyday.

This fifth poem was written on my 18th birthday
Today I am a grown woman and on my own again
I love all the women in my life who raised me
loved me, and miss them so dearly.
I will do my best to honor them everyday of my life
Aunt Pearl: I will be respectful and always help those who need a helping hand
Aunt Mary: I will continue being sweet and know the difference of friend or foe
Aunt Lillian: I am sorry I disappointed you and miss you alot
Aunt Marquerita: I will always keep family pictures safe and know in my heart
that all you love are family
Aunt Valetia: I will always keep my sense of humor and not judge others
Aunt Emma: I love you so much; thanks for being there for me always
and I miss your feather bed and milk cap sleigh bells and your hugs
Aunt Connie: thanks for being so honest and teaching my the truth of womanhood
Aunt Opal: You are undoubtedly the grandest neighbor in the world
Aunt Catherine: You are the most sincere and loving Auntie i love you forever
Aunt Carol; I am alive and well because you took a stranger child into your home.

I will always celebrate you all on my birthday and Mother's Day
I will plant flowers and trees, clean up liter, and do the handicrafts you taught me.
I will forever teach others the love in our hearts that has no judgments.
Thank you from the depths of my heart and soul for being true to yourself
and teaching me to be my real self every day.

This poem was written in 1973 when my Maternal Grandmother Blanche died
Today I found out that you passed away at your sewing machine suddenly.
You lived 88 years as a graciously loving woman, mother, sister, and daughter.
You taught me pride in being a woman who loves life no matter the struggle.
You were an excellent human being who was always true to your beliefs.
You guided me through pain and joy always teaching me survival and infinity
You are the woman I want to become and I know you are "fine in the middlin of livin"
May our hearts, minds and spirits always be connected; you are my mirrow image: