Celebrities Skinned - Celebs Rally for Help Against Paparazzi

Several celebrities went to Congress recently, to ask for stricter regulation and enforcement of paparazzi and their practices. Among the famous was singer/songwriter John Mayer, who recanted stories of being followed late at night by black cars with their headlights turned off and his fear for his safety.

Come on, John. Who'd you think it might be, the KGB?

Not all celebrities whine about the paparazzi, but those that do seem unyielding in their stance. Stars like Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Biel, Ben Affleck, Lindsay Lohan, and singer/songwriter Mayer all seem to share this exaggerated exasperation about being fought, trampled, pushed and gushed over. What these stars fail to realize is that it is this public demand for attention that made them what they are. Sure, it's inconvenient(at worst), but is it really something this country needs to have Congress take time to mull over? Besides trying to figure out a four hundred billion dollar deficit, the perjorative situation with gas, the simultaneously on-going wars in several different countries, homeland security, and the upcoming election, does our government really need to start focusing on a bill about the legality of having someone's picture taken on the street?

Ask yourselves one question, celebrities. Ask yourselves one question before opening your big, botoxed, collagenated-lips in plastic indignation over the sharks feeding for your image: would you trade the "hell" you live in now for an anonymously normal life working a 9-to-5? A life where you wouldn't have to worry about pushy photogs screaming for your attention, but about paying your rent, putting food on the table, providing for your family, a recession, saving for your child's college fund, rising gasoline prices, general public mistreatment, losing your job, finding a new job, or any of the other real-life problems that the majority of the world concern themselves with on a daily basis that you seem to have become so utterly disconnected with?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

The real tragedy here is that Hollywood superstars have become so coddled and pampered that they are now crying for government assistance for a lifestyle that most people would trade everything they have for. Los Angeles Chief of Police William Bratten even had to answer questions about the formation of a paparazzi task force assembled to assist the Hollywood pristine. With tongue firmly in cheek, Bratten said the paparazzi had been behaving as of late, since Britney Spears has been away, Paris Hilton has been out of the country, and Lindsay Lohan "has gone gay." Nonetheless, Bratten stated he had assembled a "paparazzi task force" to assist the infamous when photogs get out of hand, but concluded this line of questioning by stating he had "better things to worry about." Thank God.

Somewhere, probably in the Hollywood Hills, a supermodel is crying a river. Elsewhere, probably in the Hamptons, a movie star is playing the violin. Around them, and completely oblivious to them, no one is caring. Get over it Hollywood. If you don't like it, move to France.