'Celebrity Apprentice' Episode 4 Recap

Well it's time to return to the House that Trump Built and revisit our celebrities apprenticing and raising money for their charities. We opened the show with Gary Busey presenting his check to his charity, one for victims of traumatic brain injuries returning to work, so that was touching. Because here's Gary Busey making a living, and he's doing the same for others. Warm Busey fuzzies for all!

Then it was time to get down to bidnezz...Trump, flocked by IvanKa and his son, Nepotism, have team ASAP and team Chicken Bone pick their team leaders. This week we'll have Lil' Jon and Mizz NeNe Leakes if yer nasty, heading up the challenges.

The teams need to film a 30 second video for some video phone or whatever, so it's off to the war rooms for the planning sessions to begin. The women are a disaster right off the bat. Apparently LaToya has lost the ability to read because of Lasik surgery, Dionne's spreading her brand of salty diva sunshine, Star's salivating at the idea of jumping on the back of the weakest link, Hope just sits there wide-eyed and pretty, and Marlee hates that she can't talk over these hags. NeNe's got a mess on her hands.

Over on the men's team, it's all good. The guys are a band of misfits, but they seem to gel pretty well together. I'm not sure what Mark McGrath is on, but he's pretty wound up most of the the time, no? Dude needs to chill. I'm sure he's just high on meth life...just an observation is all...

So the teams come up with their ideas... the women again come up with something lame and trite... the exchange student calling home from Paris to her parents via video phone, but it's super duper special because Marlee is playing the 'mom' and she can now sign to her daughter over the phone. That's nice, I guess, but I feel like I've seen this commercial a hundred times before.

Over on team Dog Bone, the guys, because they're a bunch of weirdos, are thinking outside the box on this one. They come up with the brilliant idea to give their video phone to Granny and Grandpa to announce an engagement at Christmas time...to another dude! And who is the other dude going to be? Canseco. Aren't you guys a little weirded out that team Leg Bone always wants to punk on Canseco? First the dress, now the eyeliner...at first I thought it was funny and now I think we're having a 'too many dudes in close quarters' problem.

But of course, John Rich is not a fan of the idea because it involves Tehz Geyz and it's pretty obvious that anything homosexual makes the man ridiculously uncomfortable. Even though he tries to play it off like he's thinking more 'mainstream' and thinks the idea is too weird, it's really a good ol' country boy not liking any of that Nancy Boy type stuff. Way to perpetuate a stereotype, Mr. Rich.

Anyway, they do their filming. LaToya has three brain cells all fighting one another while trying to remember to breathe and has an incredible amount of anxiety about telling time, it seems. Marlee looks like she wants to kill herself because she's stuck not only with these Reality TV morons, but these awful commercial actors, too. And Dionne? Dionne's a mess. Crotchety, crabby, lazy...all in that order, all the time. She even peaced out during the editing! Went. Home. During. The. Challenge. And NeNe's right...what is she supposed to do? Dionne is a grown ass woman, if she wants to leave, let her leave. She can't tell Dionne to sit down and work.

So the groups show the videos, and it's pretty clear that the guys are going to win it. Don't let Trump fool you into thinking it was close. It wasn't. Jose Canseco saying, "Heeeeeey!" in eyeliner and a faux hawl will win every single time.

But in the boardroom, Trump, Nepotism and IvanKa are trying to make things interesting, but we all know what's about to happen here. NeNe knows what's about to happen and...starts to cry? NeNe cries? Since when? Oh...being on Network TV...gotcha.

Blah, Blah, Blah the guys win, and the girls have to scratch eachother's eyes out for survival. We knew just based on the editing that Dionne was going home, but she did try to make her crotchety laziness NeNe's fault, and in return NeNe threw LaToya under the bus calling her life support for a hair weave...in the end though, Trump got bored and said, 'Dionne yuh fihuhd' and Mizz Warwick was sent back to Shady Pines.

Good. Now we have a game, people. I was pretty impressed with NeNe this week and surprised she wasn't such a handful. Once again, I popped the popcorn too early waiting for the Leakes v. Jones showdown...

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