Celebrity Apprentice Season Eight, an Insult to Intelligence

I have been a huge fan of this series of the Celebrity Apprentice. They have had some of the biggest celebrity idiots, biggest celebrity talent, and biggest celebrity spoiled brats. I have loved every episode of this season. I even adore Joan Rivers until she and Melissa start doing this defend each other act in the boardroom. However, this last episode was an insult to the intelligence of the celebrities, the executives, and the viewers.

The Assignment: Create a viral video for the Internet that is also an infomercial for All. The assignment is counterproductive and an oxymoron. Why no one points this out is beyond me. They want a "clean" product image with enough comedy to be considered a "viral" video. Viral videos that go above and beyond are funny. That is the number one rule and to be quite honest, while there is a slim percentage of Americans who feel otherwise, but the majority of us laugh even if the joke is a bit crude. I can overlook an f bomb if the video is that funny.

The Demographic: Married mothers. We will discuss this demographic and the executives lack of insight upon it in a moment.

So essentially what we have is a set up for both teams that is impossible for them to fulfill. This is a no win task for both of them regardless of what they do. The only way to win this task is to be what everyone broadly deems funny without offending anyone in any manner and at the same time selling a product. This as a side note to the above paragraph is not what viral video is in the first place. Few viral videos are commercials of any kind with the exception of a few foreign commercials that would have never aired on a United States network because they were so offensive that they were hilarious.

As far as impossible tasks go, the girl's team + Jesse James did what they were told to do. They filmed a hilarious video that showcased All without being too commercial. They did an excellent job. They worked tight and solid. The ending of the video with the bad language was to target a broader audience and could have been cut had the company bought the viral video.

The guy's team which is now including Chloe, Joan, and Natalie did a horrible job with the task. I will be the first to say their video did not appeal to the target audience in the least bit. As a married woman, finding the other woman in a video with another woman's spouse is not even slightly humorous. Scantily clad women sell a product to men not women as a general rule of thumb. Clint Black can sing, but without his cowboy hat his sexy factor goes way down as well!

The executives from the All company to Donald Trump himself show their stupidity on a subject during the judging of these videos. They determine that women with children will be offended by the usage of midgets for starters. Why? Midgets are funny! Is it offensive? Perhaps, but even midgets realize that people find that humor funny and many capitalize on it. Oompa Loompa, Munchkins - classic usage of Midgets and do women with children let their children watch those videos? Yes they do!

I got the impression upon watching the executives of All and the executives with Trump in private in the boardroom discuss my demographic, that they think we are serious women. Women who don't find comedy in a midget joke. Women who will be easily offended at a curse word. They inferred a label for my demographic as a fifties housewife and I take serious offense at that inference. I think Role Model s was hilarious! I laughed harder than my husband during the movie Sex Drive.

Executives pull your head out of your rear ends. We are not all wearing aprons, buns in our hair, singing Mary Poppins while we cook like Betty Crocker. We laugh at funny things like midgets car washing Jesse James! That was a viral video. Women with children may be in a relationship, they may be single, they may have tattoos, they might ride a Harley, they might sit in the boardroom, or they might even play with Barbie's. Women are more empowered now than ever yet an executive opinion about us still tries to push us into a mold of conformity from an outdated era. Though this entire episode was a sham, and what I write about next ticks me off, this is my biggest hot button issue and the reason I felt compelled to voice my opinion and outrage upon the entire episode of Celebrity Apprentice.

Donald Trump you publicly embarrassed yourself in front of millions of women Sunday Night. Congratulations! I was going to overlook your male machismo in the boardroom with the Playboy Bunny you had the hots for and your request to see the video model in her skimpy clothing walk across your boardroom table. But you went too far when you pushed me into a box that has to be conservative to be a mother that uses All detergent. I hope more women go back and watch that episode and add their voices of outrage at this behavior so that you pay attention and listen to what we are saying. You need to rethink women with children as a demographic.

The Outcome: Both teams lose because they do not meet the requirements of the task. Bogus! The task was bogus! You cannot sell a product and be funny enough to become Internet viral. I am sorry but if you can link me a place that has done this I will retract the statement to say it is a rarity to be sure! Commercials can be cute and funny but funny enough to forward it to everyone in your address book? And laugh every time you receive it in your inbox? No, I am not buying it. Sorry, I just can't. Prove me wrong. Give me a commercial link that I find that funny.

Now to the boardroom antics. First let me say, if anyone should have been fired it should have been Clint Black for his stubborn ignorance of his entire team and their opinions. However, since I called this entire task a sham I am not sure that anyone deserved to be fired. In fact, I think the whole episode should have been a wash with no loser or winner. It is like me sitting you down with a game of checkers but telling you there can be no jumps. It would be a clear draw at the middle of the checker board.

Instead both project managers had to bring two people in with them. For the women the team did not lose. They even had the other team laughing at their production. So the fact that someone from Athena was fired was a joke. I felt like he used a bogus reason to get rid of Tionne because he knew no one on that team deserved the ax.

When he got to Kotu, where as I said before the only one who could possibly be justified in losing was Clint, he sent out a no brain question to Clint and Natalie. Asking them if they wanted to quit the game. At first, before Natalie got the same question I was sure he was setting it up for Clint Black to make a graceful exit and save face from the nightmare of his cheating spouse was funny video. But no that was never his intention.

His intention was to publicly humiliate Chloe for a DUI she had received prior to appearing on his show. While I am strongly opposed to that type of behavior, I also understand that people are human and make mistakes. Chloe has been punished by the law for her mistake. Her charity was even chosen as a way to make reparations for her mistake.

To lecture and demean her in the boardroom was uncalled for and had nothing to do with the task or the behavior on the task. This task was not even brought up. Just a prior one that she had missed some of the task for, which had this been an issue she should have lost her job then not this week. If you don't fire them when they deserve it, don't you give up your opportunity? Despite the fact this season has been riddled with missing celebrities on any given week. Where was Joan two weeks in a row? Where were Brian McKnight and Herschel for this task? Herschel did appear in time to bring some "save face" to this project.In short, Donald Trump used this week's boardroom to humiliate a young lady already paying for her mistakes. He also demeaned Tionne and insulted her integrity and intelligence with her exit. I will still watch this season as I love the personality's competition, however, my opinion of Trump is forever tarnished after this episode.

As a final note I found it completely tacky that since All was unimpressed with both team videos they offered Joan and Melissa the chance to square off. They have been squaring off this entire season of Apprentice and that little show down has lost it's entertainment. After watching both videos, Melissa was not funny enough to be viral in anything but her own mind. Joan was slightly funnier and it was good for a television commercial, however, I would never forward that kind of routine comedy to any of my friends for a quick laugh. It just wasn't THAT funny!