Cell Phone Epidemic Obliterates Bee Colony

Sit down, little Johnnie, I am going to tell you the story of the bees and cell
phones.

After watching all of the men and women bebop into the local Wal-Mart with cell phones attached to their heads, this latest news item came as quite a shock! The big flash is that cell phones are causing the collapse of bee hives. Does this seem rational? Can it be that hoards of bee are dropping out of the sky due to advanced technology? Apparently, there is scientific proof behind this newest finding.

According to a recent hypothesis, the radiation given off by mobile phones and other high-tech gadgets interferes with bees navigation systems. This prevents them from getting back to their hives. This has been related by a group of German researchers at Landau University. Although there seems to be some scientific backing concerning the most recent study, there is also dissent.

Apiarists (another word for beekeeper) are stating that this disorder known as CCD, colony collapse disorder - could be caused by irregular weather patterns and mite or other infestations. Maybe they had a disagreement with the Queen! Or perhaps all of the worker bees are just fed up and have decided to go on strike. Wouldn't this be an innovative format of an Alfred Hitchcock "The Birds" type movie? Imagine, millions of bees flying as normal in the sky- when a King-Kong like Cell Phone appears in their direct flying pattern. Immediately they all drop dead! Well, it would probably be a short movie.

However, there is evidence to suggest that this radiation from the cell phone is dropping at least 50-70 per cent of bees and starving the others as they lay in their hives. Technically, the bees become confused when the radiation hits them and they begin to fly into mountains, very deep rivers, and passenger planes. And the poor bees that are lying around the hive, drinking honey, and gossiping soon have no food and nothing to look forward to. They develop malnutrition, depression, and then expire. Even the scavenger bees that fly into foreign hives to mooch off of them - are dropping one after another. God! What is a hobo bee to do?

Rumor has it that the beekeepers are organizing a free clinic to treat the bees who are afflicted with CCD. But, until this is up and running the cell phone plague is rampant and the bees are losing the fight.