Cemetery Etiquette Guide for the Fall Graveyard Travel Season

Fall marks the onset of haunted tours to famous -- and infamous -- cemetery locations. Before visiting some of the most gorgeous landscapes in the country, it is a good idea to brush up on cemetery etiquette for these travels. Although the United States cannot boast the likes of a Pere Lachaise or San Michele, there are nevertheless ample opportunities for visiting graveyards with famous occupants in stunning surroundings. Other attractions include horticultural feats, artistic merit and even cemetery lots that are purportedly haunted. So how should you act when setting foot on God's acre?

No loud music, food or fanfare -- except --

Cemetery locations are generally places of solemn contemplation. Even if you are a free spirit and love to commune with the dead, respect the wishes of the living, who are tending their loved ones' graves. One exception is the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, which lets Cinespia host periodic movie screenings on the property. Revelers enjoy live DJ music and are encouraged to bring picnics and drinks.

Don't touch -- unless --

When visiting historic cemetery lots, there is a good chance that the traveler encounters crumbling monuments, sunken graves and disheveled grave sites. Do not touch the monuments or try to take rubbings of gravestones that are crumbling; you might contribute to their further deterioration. Even more dangerous is the would-be do-gooder who wants to clean a crumbling monument with commercial cleaners.

Resist the urge to clean and scrub, since the chemicals you use might just hasten the headstone's demise. One exemption to the 'do not touch' rule is the custom of leaving a tiny pebble on a grave marker. If the headstone is in good shape, this little nod to the deceased or mourners shows that you stopped by and paid your respects.

Watch your step!

Find a cemetery in Germany, and you find a locale where grave sites are clearly marked with borders and connected by walkways. Cemetery lots in the United States are not as well-marked. In fact, plenty of cemetery locations are little more than rolling lawns dotted with small headstones. Stepping onto a grave site is almost unavoidable. Even so, watch your step and try to avoid standing on a grave. Use marked walkways and do not opt for shortcuts across the lawns.

Remove nothing

The aforementioned pebbles on a marker are actually a Jewish custom. Plenty of cultures have funerary rites that include the leaving of flowers, toys, money, letters and other items on or near a loved one's grave. Do not remove anything from the cemeteries you visit.

A word on photos

Cemetery etiquette is very clear when it comes to photography. Local cemetery rules trump your wishes. If the graveyard's management office has no objection to picture takers, then the mourners or memorial visitors may ask you politely to leave; seeing that you are the guest, please comply. If nobody minds your camera, do not alter a grave site in any way to get a better shot. This includes, as outlined by the International Association of Cemetery Preservationists, a clear prohibition to applying shaving cream to a headstone for better picture contrasts. In the same vein, do not cut or move any vegetation that might have grown up on -- or around -- a gravestone.

If in doubt, ask -- before you arrive!

If you find a cemetery that caters to a culture or religious background that is different from yours, educate yourself on proper cemetery etiquette. Guardians of Native American cemetery lots in particular are very clear that the area is to be treated with respect. Case in point is the Acoma Pueblo. It features not only a burial ground but also historic abodes and active religious ceremonies. Visitors must dress appropriately -- no revealing clothes -- and photography is forbidden in the cemetery itself.

Establishments mentioned in this article:

Hollywood Forever Cemetery

6000 Santa Monica Boulevard

Los Angeles, CA 90038-1899

(323) 469-1181

Open Monday to Sunday; 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Acoma Pueblo

Interstate 40, Exit 102

Pueblo of Acoma, NM 87034

(800) 747-0181

Open Sunday through Saturday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.