CEO Sinking Transport Company-8

The CEO faces the need to recruit drivers for the fleet of the STC. He heads a Committee for selection. Candidates are screened. One of them has medium size elephantiasis on the right leg. A member points out this aspect suggesting disqualification of the candidate. However, Syphilius says he is the most suitable candidate. All others disagree. Their argument is that if he applies the right foot on the accelerator, the brake will jam and the vehicle will not move. Syphilius says that is exactly the same reason he needs to be given preference. With a single operation he will control the accelerator and the brake, which others can't do. The candidate is selected.

Syphilius discovers time is an important factor, in ensuring performance. He finds employees he introduces 'card punching'. The employees strongly oppose this measure. They place counter conditions for reaching office on time. These are: frequent and adequate transportation facility, residential accommodation of their choice close to the office, free lunch, arrangements for looking after children and burglary insurance cover. Unfortunately, the CEO is unable to present a strong point. He forgets to emphasize that 50% of the employees are surplus. Employees observe timings suited to their needs. The emphasize that delay of several weeks in clearing papers does not matter and saving a few minutes or hours through punching will not help. He gives up the scheme.

He receives an invitation to deliver a talk on managing the business environment. A reputed professional body arranges a meeting. Several executives and citizens are invited. The Chairman of the meeting introduces the CEO to the audience particularly referring to his bold and innovative approach to problems. The CEO explains at length the business environment. While concluding the subject he leaves the topic for questions.

One participant raises his hand and says:
' Sir, I have a question with reference to two cases. The first one is that a very competent marketing expert is unable to win a contract for supply of a million tons of steel, whereas by bribing the top officials another gets the order , that too at a higher price. The second one is that the most competent human relations expert is unable to solve a strike situation even after days of negotiation whereas a union leader solves it in thirty minutes after taking a hefty bribe, resulting in the withdrawal of the strike. These two instances show that bribing bring benefits to the organization. Do you recommend bribing as a result oriented marketing management technique? '

Syphilus replied:

'Gentleman, Now that you have raised this point I will answer with reference to my own experience. I have held charge of large financial institutions and commercial organizations. For effective marketing of services or products I have paid bribes. This is something, which not even Harvard or other business schools teach. However, I say with authority that if you want to be a successful marketing expert you must pay bribes. Have you read the latest book 'Business Bribing by Arthur Bribert? ' He at length deals with the efficacy of bribing in closing business deals. It is the most potent marketing weapon. It is the key trait of an effective executive. The benefits to the giver are far reaching. The quintessance of the book is that you have to treat bribe as part of your cost. There is no other way. In fact this is the hidden technique in management, I hope I have answered your question satisfactorily. '

Thank you.

The organizers of the meeting thanked Syphilius for his interesting, illuminating and instructive talk. The great CEO left the hall with a nice memento.
(Concluded)