Cereal Box Reviews Part 2

Not book reviews, but reviews of what people really read: cereal boxes.

Rice Krispies

This classic box offers the reader a number of choices. As you turn from the front panel to the side panel, what will you see? Sciency nutrition facts? Loud advertising? The suspense is invigorating. The font size variety is all over the spectrum, a wonderful feature seldom seen in traditional books.

I must, however, take exception to the most current Rice Krispies box, which uses a movie tie-in to Star Trek. Star Trek t-shirts are available with nine ( Come on. Nine?) tokens you cut off the box with 'safety scissors' (not included). From front to back there is an obvious effort made to connect Snap, Crackle and Pop to Star Trek, and this got my goat faster than an Austrian shepherd. Snap, Crackle and Pop are cool little elves (or whatever) but there is no way they could qualify for Star Fleet. Do the makers of Rice Krispies boxes have any idea what it takes to even get accepted into StarFleet Academy? The standards are rigorous, my friends. Snap, Crackle and Pop can stay crispy in milk, but what good is that going to do when they're at the 'final frontier'?

And why fill the cereal box reader's head full of empty promises? Not every StarFleet cadet gets to serve on the Enterprise. Somebody has to serve on the ships that get destroyed fighting along side Captain Kirk. And if you have to use 'safety scissors' to cut the 'official token' off the box are you really ready to boldly go where no one has gone before?

Also the plastic bag that holds the cereal inside the box is terrible. It tears away in jagged vertical rips. Where is the quality control?