Cerebral Palsy, Motherhood and a Wonderful Life

Just because you have a physical disability does not mean that you can not live a wonderful life! I would like you to meet a wonderful woman who has overcome her challenges with parenthood, love and life in general. Please meet Christine Regber-Martens, an amazing mother, wife and friend to all who have meet her.

Kat: Please tell me about yourself and your family.
Christine: I was born with cerebral palsy (CP). The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck three times so not enough oxygen went to the part of my brain that controls my motor functions. I learned to walk when I was eight but due to my unstable balance, I use an electric wheelchair. I have a college degree in English and have been writing since childhood. I mostly write about my disability to make people aware that the disabled are different physically and mentally but still live just like everyone else. At 33, I met my husband through the internet. I was living in New York at the time and he was in the Netherlands. Needless to say, I moved to the Netherlands! We have been married 8 years and have a seven year old son.

Kat: What are some of the daily challenges you face?
Christine: The ignorance of others. For myself, I have learned to do everything for myself. I only need household help. I also raise my son myself.

Kat: How have you learned to deal with them?
Christine: I create art that makes people aware that disabled people are no different than anyone else. I started blogging on different disabilities so people become aware of the different disabilities out there.

Kat: Before you left New York, what type of employment did you have?
Christine: I actually had several jobs. While in college and right after graduating, I was editor of an Independent Living newsletter. It did not pay well so I took a civil service job with the police department. There I did inventory with a police officer. I always said I would not stay much longer than ten years (which is how many years you needed to receive a pension). My "partner" and I always said we'd leave the job together. At ten years, my "Partner" got cancer and I met my husband. In June, after eleven years of service I left to move to The Netherlands and in October that year my "partner" passed away. He had thirty years of service under his belt.

Kat: Do you feel the US government or the governments abroad have done enough to enable physically challenged individuals?
Christine: The United States yes. Europe no! I think it's also a question of modernizing. The US has modernized cities while Europe still has cobblestone streets, narrow sidewalks, buildings with steps and no ramps. I have traveled quite a bit and do see the US is realizing the needs of the disabled to a greater degree. For example, here in the Netherlands, they do have handicapped parking but it is just as narrow as a regular spot. In the US they are wider and give more room. The way of thinking here is the person in a wheelchair should sit in the back of the van and therefore does not need to get out on the side of the van. In my experience this is certainly more dangerous.

On the other hand the health care system as far as having an insurance that works for you is MUCH better here! Here they not only pay for medical but also for recreation programs and independent living programs which are better organized here.

Kat: Having lived in the Netherlands myself, I know they have a wonderful mass transit system. Is it adequate for your needs?
Christine: NO!!!!!!! I can not use public transportation as it is NOT equipped for my electric wheelchair! We have a van - my husband drives.

Kat: In my personal experience I have found that public schools in America separate the disabled children from the "main stream" children. Did you find this in your experience? If so, what are your feelings about this?

Christine: Yes and no - At eighteen months I began an "Infant program" at the United Cerebral Palsy Center in Queens. There I was given the therapy I needed to become functional. When I went to Junior High my first year was spent in a special Ed classroom. While I did seventh grade there my teachers noticed I had developed enough to be mainstreamed. I was given the option of doing the seventh grade over or go into the eighth. I choose doing the seventh over. Since I had skipped first grade to begin with and I already knew the material of seventh grade, I wanted to concentrate on being able to keep up with the other 40 non-disabled students.

I must say in high-school I ran into a problem as I had an English teacher that did not want me in his class because I was disabled. This is what happened:
The first day that I came in, I sat in the first row and he said, "This is an English class"
"I know". I said.
"There must be some mistake. Who sent you?"
"My guidance counselor." I am an English major and my disability is physical not mental."
I found out later that after I left the class (I always left five minutes before the bell to avoid the hall traffic) he asked the students how do I deal with her. They knew me and explained that I was like everyone else. The only difference was they took my notes by using carbon paper and I might need longer to hand in assignments. I never told my parents but he confessed at a parent-teacher meeting and told my parents he was very sorry and that he could kiss my feet when he saw me. When my parents came home they asked me why I hadn't said anything. I told them I needed to fight my own battles.

Kat: Is there any support sites/group you would suggest someone investigate?
Christine: I have created a site to show people just how much a disabled person can do, Martensnetwork.

Kat: What advice would you give to a disabled parent?
Christine: Where there's a will there's a way and don't say can't. If you really want something you can have it with the right support group and/or adaptations. For example, I can not do buttons or snaps so my mom sewed Velcro into my son's clothes and I was able to dress him.

Kat: What would you like people to know about you?
Christine: The thing that has gotten me so far in life is determination. Determination to live a full life just like everyone else.

Kat: Please tell me about some of your proudest moments as a child and as an adult?
Christine: As a child - When I learned to walk I was invited to appear on the United Cerebral Palsy telethon. It was on there that I literally threw away my crutches and have not walked with them since.

The day I graduated college. The ceremony was held outside. It had been raining throughout but at the moment I was called to get my diploma, the sun came out. Coincidence maybe but when I sat down the rain started again.

As an adult - The day I arranged for my mother to meet Pope John Paul II.

The day I married my husband. We were married in a civil ceremony in a castle here in the Netherlands. One year later, on the same day, we were remarried in my parent's church. Since we choose the same wedding day as they had, we were able to renew our vows on their 50th wedding anniversary. Our son was also present - he was six weeks old so it was a real family celebration. I was able to show 200 people that I too lived a "normal" life!

Being pregnant with my son and when he was born! Is the ultimate! Everyone was giving me advice on what it would be like to give birth and even suggested I should have a cesarean. I thought they were crazy because then I wouldn't have been able to walk for a week and therefore could not take care of my son.

Kat: As a person that has come so far, what would you like to tell parents that have a disabled child?
Christine: Never give up on your child! With the proper help, schooling, therapies, medical attention and support groups the disabled child can come a long way. I did.

This is truly an amazing and inspiring woman. I have been blessed to help tell her story and my hope is that everyone that reads it will draw strength as I have.