Certain Things You Cannot Do with Your Lover!

There are some things you cannot do with your lover. Some of these things I have heard from friends, so don't think I went through all these experiences myself. Fortunately I am more clearheaded than that! But the things lovers do to spice up their love-life are astonishing and a whole new industry has sprang up because of it.

The activity never to do is cover someone's body in chocolate. This will leave stains on your sheets and will remind you of him/her forever, especially when you break up.So, unless you want to throw out a $150 duvet cover don't do it.

Another one is not to cover any body parts with sugar. Especially not in combination with the above. This will attract bee-and wasp stings in strange places. Besides of which, you'll have to explain to the doctor how this happened.

Never cover lovers in oil. Too much oil will result in slithering all over the place and your lover cannot find you anymore, because you'll be on the bedroom floor.

Using kitchen appliances. This is too awful to mention, so don't use them. Ever.

Rose petals. This looks romantic on TV, until you throw them around and step on a thorn. This must be no.1 love-killer.

Candles: Many homes have burned to the ground because of this romantic notion. No, good lightening is essential, actually as much as possible, like a 1000W builders-lamp. Especially if you are stupid enough to do all of the above. Only very old people have to use candles, to hide the wrinkles and admittedly candles do have a soft glow, so they look 25 again if they leave their glasses on the bedside table.

Drinking wine or champagne in bed. This is a very bad idea because if you get too intoxicated you have no idea what you're doing anymore. This could lead to all kinds of misunderstandings and the next morning there will be hell to pay. That is, if you remember it at all.

Taking a stroll together. This is not a good idea at all, because when you're in love you don't look where you're going. All eyes are for the other person and you don't pay attention to stoplights and such anymore. Just stay at home.