CFIDS: The Mind and Body Connection

Most people who suffer from CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome) at one time or another have asked themselves, "Am I crazy?" Or "Why doesn't anyone believe I'm sick?" The medical community is to blame for these feelings. Most of us have been dismissed because the answer to our illness is not found in a simple blood test. Most of us with CFIDS have been from doctor to doctor trying to find answers to something that we experience every day that is very real, yet no one will listen to us or believe us.

Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, M.D., who is the director for the Annapolis Research Center for Effective FMS/CFS Therapies, gives a great analogy in his "From Fatigued to Fantastic" book. He says, "Imagine calling an electrician because your lights do not work. The electrician checks all your wiring, can't find the problem, and says, 'You're crazy. There's nothing wrong with your lights'. You flip the switches and they still do not work, but the electrician just says, 'I've looked. There's no problem here.' and walks out the door." This is what those of us with this debilitating illness have experienced repeatedly from the medical community. This behavior is totally uncalled for, unprofessional and rude.

What we have is a very real and a very physical illness. But like other diseases (heart disease, diabetes, cancer), there is a psychological factor. There has been a lot of controversy among CFIDS sufferers surrounding the psychological aspects of the illness. If we acknowledge that we do have some emotional issues, then we are confirming the medical community's theory that it is all in our head. Sick or not, we all have emotional issues to some extent.

Through Dr. Teitelbaum's studies, he has found that a large percentage of CFIDS patients exhibit Type A behaviors and are overachievers who are driven due to having low self-esteem as children. As children and teenagers, many of us felt we needed to overachieve for growth and our own self-image. I was always very driven and I was always competing and getting involved in any activity at school that I could. I was on the debate team, orchestra, chorus, show choir, girl's ensemble, Color Day committees, prom committees and many more. I was always trying to prove that I was worth something and that I was valued. I never felt like anything I did was good enough at home. As the middle child, it seemed that I was never really important and that I was just ignored much of the time. No matter how hard I worked at being the best, my mother still continued to tell me that I had no ambition and that I would never amount to anything. Even today, all these years later, I still hear those words and believe them. So I continued to push myself and I continued to prove that I was not all of the things my mother said I was. My father would defend me when my mother would say these things, but once those words are out of the mouth from someone you love, the effects of these words last forever.

By becoming ill with CFIDS, it makes us slow down so we can find out who we really are. It's a hard lesson to learn and it's a hard way to have to slow down, but many of us didn't leave our bodies much choice. Having CFIDS can actually serve many patients well because we have to learn to lighten up and the deep rest is necessary.

Only a small percentage of CFIDS patients have depression as a cause of their fatigue. Most of us get depressed as a result of the illness. Because so many of us are overachievers, the lack of energy causes frustration, which leads to depression. The stress of being chronically ill can lead to depression also.

Having CFIDS forces us to take care of our own needs first. Before becoming ill, many of us drove ourselves to be the best and we tried to be all things to all people. Not being able to say no was emotionally and physically draining. Now we don't have a choice and that's okay. Taking care of you first is a healthy lesson for everyone to learn, even those who aren't sick.