Challenges Faced by Those Living with Anxiety Disorders

I have been living with anxiety disorder since I was a young teenager. My type is classified as social anxiety, but as anyone with this condition knows, the symptoms can manifest themselves even when you are safe in your house, away from other people. In my case, I knew my anxiety was getting out of hand when one of my classmates called the other day, asking if I would like to meet her and several others for a study session. I panicked. Just the thought of leaving the house, being seen and being around others, made my heart race. I started stammering excuses,"Um...I, uh, I really don't feel good. I, um, have to go to a doctor's appointment". Or something. I knew they knew I was lying, but I absolutely could not leave the house that day.

Challenge #1: Avoidance increases anxiety

This was the first thing I learned when I decided to get help with my condition. It's simple: the more you avoid something, the more you will fear it. I thought back to a time when my symptoms were barely noticeable, and how I could go almost anywhere. Now just driving to the store had become a monumental challenge. I learned that every time you make the decision to skip an activity, or stay in your house, or get back into your car before you can enter a building, you are making it harder for yourself to do it the next time. The good thing about this challenge is all you have to do is face up to the thing you are trying to avoid. You don't have to do it well. You don't have to do it courageously. You are allowed to break down in tears when you get home. But when you face your fear, you have made a huge step, and can be really proud of yourself. And it will get easier over time.

Challenge #2: Overestimating dangers, underestimating resources

For some unfathomable reason (or at least my Anxious Self thinks so) I signed up for a six week internship in Mexico this summer. This was another reason I wanted to get help for my condition; I lay awake crying at night wondering how I was going to make it away from all my safety nets in a city full of strangers. I was actually planning my days around how to minimize interaction with other people! My counselor made me realize that I was overestimating the dangers, while forgetting about my resources. I was so busy thinking about being laughed at, or embarrassed, or left out, that I didn't see anything positive. When you have anxiety, it's hard to tap into resources for your career, friendships, academic learning, etc., because that involves venturing into new (and thus frightening) territory - going to new places and meeting new people. The truth is, most people want to help you. They don't even notice that you are anxious, or if they do, they don't think anything of it.

Challenge #3: Replacing distorted thinking with realistic thinking

My worst fear came true the other day: I had to stand up in front of the class and say something. It was a question and answer session; the speaker asked a question and the class answered it. When my turn came, I bravely stood up, walked to the podium, and asked the question. Dead silence. I felt everyone's eyes staring and me, and they did not look friendly. Finally one girl gave an answer. I don't even know if it was right; I just said yes and sat down. Immediately the negative thoughts started racing through my head: 'They don't like me. If they had liked me they would have tried to answer, like they did with everyone else. They could tell I was nervous. I probably looked like a freak.' I had to turn my head to the window so no one could see the tears welling up in my eyes.

After talking with my counselor about this incident, she gave me some advice to deal with this kind of situation. First, imagine a big red stop sign. That means stop thinking. Whatever negative thing you are about to say to yourself, just stop. Focus on the sign. Next, repeat three sentences to yourself that you have made beforehand, like a mantra, such as, 'I did a good job', 'I am proud of myself', 'I made a big step just getting up there'. Do this immediately after the anxiety-causing event; you can analyze yourself later. Right now you need to just replace the swarm of negative thoughts with a mantra of positive ones.

Later, you can think more realistically about what happened. In my case, I realized that when my turn came, it was almost time to go. Everyone was probably tired, and ready to leave. They also may not have known the answer to my question right away, and were thinking about it. There was no evidence to support my theory of not being liked, or being viewed as a freak. The truth is, we don't know what other people are thinking, but most likely, they are thinking more about their own lives and problems than judging us.

There are of course way more than three challenges faced my those with anxiety disorders. There are probably hundreds. Sometimes getting out of bed in the morning is challenge number one. These are just a few that I found to be relevant to my recovery. If you are struggling with anxiety, I would recommend talking with a professional about it. And just remember, anytime you face one of your fears, even if it is really hard, you have accomplished something.