Challenges of Teaching Children Manners

Throughout history, it has always been a challenge to teach good manners to our children. These days, it seems harder and harder to maintain those manners and instill a sense of respect in our children. My wife and I work very hard to force our daughters to say please and thank you all the time. Despite our constant nagging, it sometimes seems as though it never completely registers and half of the time they would not get what they want instead of correcting themselves and asking politely.

It's a wonder to me, the thought process involved and I am too old to remember my reasoning behind similar decisions. Every day after school, our six-year old daughter wants to have a snack as soon as we get home. The problem is she rarely actually gets one because she refuses to say please at the end of the sentence. Now for me it doesn't seem so difficult but apparently it is. Now our seven-year old daughter is a completely different story, she usually says please but rarely actually asks for something. Instead she tries to hint at what she wants by saying, "I'm hungry", or "I'm thirsty". That doesn't fly in our house; we require a politely phrased question in order to get anything. The strangest part is that we are not even very strict other than requiring basic respect and manners. Usually, unless it is almost dinnertime, they can have what they want if they just ask correctly.

It is possible however that it is just the age, as these two are very close in years. Our twelve-year old daughter, although she has a terrible "preteen" attitude, she is always respectful when asking for something. Perhaps it is because she has had longer to learn the rules.

Despite all the trouble with manners and asking politely when they want something, we feel very blessed that our girls have come out very well. They are always polite in public and to other family members, so we think that is a great accomplishment.

The best advice that I can give to any parent having trouble with similar issues is just to never let up. It does get tiresome to continuously repeat and nag about manners and respect but I honestly believe it will pay off in the end. Never give up. I feel it is important also that you always set a good example for your kids. If you expect them to be polite and have manners at all times, make sure they see you doing the same. Always make a point to say please and thank you to your spouse and to your kids, just because they are children doesn't mean they don't also deserve respect. If you are out at a restaurant or retail store, make a point to say thank you when your server or retail associate helps you or brings you something. It may seem like a small gesture and sometimes you will be in a rush or bad mood, but your kids will see that under any circumstances you are showing respect to others and in turn they will do the same.