Change is Good!

I am not good with change. There I said it. I finally admitted what so many around me already knew!

When Mike first began driving to Little Rock to preach at Trinity, it was only to fill the pulpit when they didn't have a speaker for the morning services. We knew they were looking for a pastor, but he was already leading music at our home church in Hot Springs. I was perfectly content going to Walnut Valley and worshipping with family and the friends that I'd grown up with in the Fountain Lake School system. Or so I thought. Almost three years later, I can look back and see that it wasn't contentment, it was complacency! I was comfortable. I was connected. But my worship was stale.

The first service at Trinity, one member squeezed my hand and said "Welcome Home!" WHAT? Wait Lord, I don't think so.
"We're only here as a supply pastor". Was my standard answer for about 6 weeks.
"I am not Pastor's Wife material" was my stubborn answer for another 6 weeks.
3 months of service to God, that I simply wasted by digging in my heels, and refusing to listen to what I knew in my heart he was telling me. That HE had bigger plans for our family, if only I would let HIM work.

Let me say right here because there are so many of my Trinity Family on this prayer chain that I LOVE being a pastor's wife...now. I can't imagine the last three years without the love of my church family. That being said...I still don't like change.

And I can feel God beginning to change my heart again. He continues to lay more and more opportunities to serve Him at my feet. And I have caught myself over the last few months, kicking them away. One such opportunity was starting a ladies bible study in my home. A friend asked me to consider it nearly 6 months ago! I have to tell you that through excuses I kicked that ministry opportunity so far away from my feet...that I could have played Forward for the US Olympic Soccer team. But I might as well have been playing with a boomerang instead of a soccer ball because it kept coming back and landing....right at my feet.

Tuesday night was our first study. I can't answer for anyone else that was here, but I know I have already been blessed by not only the study, but my sisters who are studying with me.

Why do I run from God? Why do any of us slam the door, hide, argue or simply ignore the urgings in our hearts that He places there? Did we not learn from Jonah that it didn't do any good?
I can answer that question in one word: FEAR

I wish I could simply take God's word in Isaiah 41:10 and know that no matter where He leads me that He's going to take care of me.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I
am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with
my righteous right hand.

No matter what your fear, God can overcome it. One of my favorite songs is from Bob and Larry in the Veggie Tales series: "God is bigger than the boogie man". Although it's title is a little less than serious; it's message is not. Our little ones fear things such as boogie men under the bed and monsters in the closet.

But even as we grow up, our fears don't go away. They just grow with us. They become things like self doubt, intimidation and inadequacies. It is in these times that we simply must remember that God does not give a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. (II Timothy 1:7)