Change Your Life by Talking to Your Subconscious

Does it seem that whenever you try to change something in your life, that you subconsciously sabotage yourself? Do you break down and smoke that cigarette, even though you're trying to quit? Do you promise yourself to eat more healthy and then gobble down a whole package of cookies? Why do your subconscious cravings overwhelm your conscious desire to change your behavior?

Consider this: your subconscious thinks--in fact it knows--that you like cigarettes or cookies because you've been smoking cigarettes or eating cookies for years and years. It thinks it's doing you a favor when it sends you signals to smoke a cigarette or eat a package of cookies because it knows you like them. If you want to change, you need to tell your subconscious directly that you don't like something that you used to like, or that you now like something that you used to not like. Once you subconscious realizes what you want and are serious about it, it will go along with the change in behavior.

Here's how to practice the talking to your subconscious technique. Let's use food cravings for an example. Whenever you have a desire for the food you're trying to quit eating, say out loud and with feeling, "I don't like (the name of the food)!" If you are offered the food you crave say, "I don't like (the name of the food)." If you are talking about that food in conversation, tell people you don't like that particular food. Don't tell people you are telling yourself this to stop you eating as much. Just tell them you don't like it and leave it at that. If you are in public and it is absolutely inappropriate to say your phrase out loud, say it silently, but that is definitely not as effective. Of course, you should also avoid eating the food you say you dislike.

What you are creating with this technique is what psychologists call cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a term which describes the uncomfortable tension that results from having two conflicting thoughts at the same time, or from engaging in behavior that conflicts with one's beliefs, or from experiencing apparently conflicting phenomena. Cognitive dissonance is extremely uncomfortable and the mind struggles to alleviate it. When you say to yourself that you don't like something, your subconscious is confused and disturbed because it thinks that you do like it. However, after a few days of being told many times that you don't like something, your subconscious avoids the distress of cognitive dissonance by simply accepting the fact that you don't like that particular thing. From that point on, your subconscious will be working with you rather than against you.

You can also use the same talking to your subconscious technique to install a new habit. Let's say that you don't really like vegetables, but you want to start eating them because of their health benefits. When you prepare or order your meal, say out loud to yourself, "I like vegetables," and include vegetables in the meal. When you eat the vegetables, say out loud to yourself, "I like (the name of vegetable you're eating)." It will taste a little better than usual. If the topic comes up in conversation, say out loud, "I like vegetables." After a few days, vegetables will taste much better to you.

You can use this same technique of talking to your subconscious to change any behavior. If you're trying to extinguish a habit, such as smoking, say that you don't like it and avoid doing it; if you're trying to install a habit, say that you do like it and do the behavior as often as possible. Remember that your subconscious really does want to help you. Help it help you by talking to it and telling it what you want.