Changes After a Deployment

Many people think that coming home from a deployment is easy, but it's not. My husband, Sgt. Jerry Parramore, told me that adjusting is hard. You have to get used to the life in the United States again and being in the real world.

Keep in mind that these men have been in another country for at least seven (7) months and haven't been living a normal life. They carry weapons, wear heavy gear, and drive in humvees. Most of all, they are at the war zone. So there will be changes when they come back. I know because I've noticed so many changes in my husband since he came home from his third deployment.

Before we got married, my husband and I went through a deployment together. I've never lived with him before nor did I know him before he joined the military so I didn't really notice any changes in him after his first deployment. When he returned from his second deployment, we got married and lived together for about five (5) months until he had to leave for his third deployment again. After seven (7) long months in Iraq, he came home. The day I saw him get off the bus was the happiest day of my life. But I didn't know the hardships that I was about to face.

He was a completely different man. It only took a few more days until I started noticing the changes. He was very moody and would always wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. I never forced him to tell me anything, not even today. I wait until he's ready to tell me. And he did. The experiences he's had in Iraq has changed him forever. Those memories will always linger in his mind and there is nothing that I can do but accept it and accept the person that he's become. He wasn't the person that I met. Not anymore. I can't blame him.

After being home for a year, we were able to work things out and start to get to know each other again. We got used to having each other around and our marriage was finally where it's supposed to be. But then, he had to deploy again.

There will be changes in their personality. Deployment will do that. They experience things over there that we can't even begin to imagine. Many of these men will through tough experiences just like my husband did. So my advice to the wives, girlfriends, and other family members is to keep an open mind. Try to be understanding and patient when it comes to them. Keep in mind that they have gone through so many things and it will be hard for them to adjust or even begin talking about it. It will be hard and there will be many tough times but as long as you keep an open mind, everything will be alright.