Changing Definitions of What it Means to Be a "real" Woman ...

Anyone who listens to said "urban" radio these days is familiar with The Game's ode to video girls "Wouldn't Get Far", where him and Kanye West, who produced the track, posit pro-typical misogynistic prose against said video girls; the infamous freelance workers who sell their sexuality to boost their career whereas in return, album sales of a rap album typically skyrocket, as males who watch music videos to take a look at the girls must have the album, as well as women who may have heard the song on the radio in a club or discotheque anywhere. Think of the phenomenon as rap music's equivalent to the hedonistic times of the Disco era; as one has captured that same energy and compressed it into a three minute video. The work pays well, and while there were always female dancers featured in rap videos from the very beginning, when recording artists of this genre of music were struggling to get airplay, the mainstream success of rap music has created an insatiable market for songs that feature catchy lyrics, instructions on how one can carry out various dance moves, and double entrees in which talk about dance moves masquerade messages about sexuality.

The song "Wouldn't Get Far" itself highlights some of the discrepancies about perceived indifference towards gender politics that many would say are the Achilles heel of interpersonal relationships between men and women in the African-American community. Men's magazines often feature pictorial of these girls, and other models in which the interviews typically consist of questions and answer sessions about the woman's relationships, what they are looking for in a man and "real" talk about their careers, in which they are cast in a positive light. In contrast to the lack of artistic value intrinsic in most music videos, the magazines do portray the women in a positive light, for what it's worth, and the women are sold as being in control over their careers and lives, and this form of modeling is just a "stepping stone" to get them to where they really want to be in life. This is one way to gain recognition, and some women, such as Mellisa Ford, have used this route to redefine themselves in the mainstream media in a way in which they can put their sexually exploitive past behind them.

But while some of the girls do "Get Far", in spite of the angst of men who have to find other means in which to use their creativity to earn money that perhaps, cannot handle the perceived fluidity and free nature of these woman; what does that say of the thousands of others who won't get anywhere, either because of their morals and standards, or because of those of the society, who do not value their physical appearance enough to include them or invite them to this post-feminist party? What standard are we holding those girls up to, if any at all; is going to school and educating yourself and dealing with what life has to offer you absent of using your beauty something those other woman have to digress to, or what all woman should aspire towards? How does this affect the societies perceptions of femininity to begin with, because while I used to stand in awe of a good, strong woman who stood for everything that right, from what I could perceive, and carry herself with some modicum of confidence, yet had the resolve to face life's challenges with an inner strength that you cannot get from television, the Internet, or any other aspect of mass culture that same media would have you to think that this woman is a dying breed.

Think about the way women are marketed to and sold ideas about who they should be in today's culture; we read countless articles encouraging woman to build themselves up spiritually, to stay positive, to forgive others and mend broken relationships. We also read countless others that simply assume that the average girl is consumed with being with someone and are quick to give her some "ready-made" solutions or quick fixes, that she can implement sexually, to heal her relationships. Yet something is missing in all of this; that media portrayal of the woman we respect in a positive light. It wasn't that long ago that such images were everywhere, on sitcoms such as The Cosby Show or perhaps in odd places like one of Norman Lear's many shows. Yet these days the humor found in Wanda's character on The Bernie Mac show tells us that while strong woman exist, they don't have to be as selfless as they appeared at that time, without any life of their own.

Are you looking at Black woman through the filtered lens of the music video and the stereotypical, one-dimensional characters that you see on the television set, or do you spend any time with a woman beyond those few seconds that it takes you to determine if you're attracted to them? How do we know what women are really like at home, when no one else is looking, when there is no reason to perform or act out, without the cuteness or the empty values we often use to judge woman through? Do we want a girl that's beautiful and sexy and will play up to all of our fantasies, or an ordinary woman that is a truer representation of what women everywhere have to go through? Why can't we have both, in fact what are we willing to accept, and how honest are we as men about what it must be like to go through life as a woman; we think we're nice guys, or honest men that any woman would want, but how much do we really know about them? How much about the unglamorous side of femininity, that is everything that we say we appreciate about a good woman, do we really want to come into contact with? How much of the responsibility do we want to take for what we often complain about ourselves, and how could that accountability help someone in the future?

There are plenty of good girls out there, but are we really willing to go after them and look for them, or do we digress to dealing with the quick, aggressive crowd we've fallen into; the one's that want the attention, yet may or may not be willing to give of themselves to the same extent? Continue to watch the television set or browse on-line to entertain yourself; there's actually a whole different world out there in front of your very eyes. Yeah, some girls won't "Get Far"; but that isn't the only way to get ahead, just the only one people want to talk about, then again that all depends on who you're listening too ...