Changing Your Tune: An AC Experiment on Regrets After Death

Allow me set the scene for you. You're going about your life, happy and free as you can, when BAM! You're dead. Do not worry, it was a quick and painless demise and your funeral was overflowing with grieving loved ones who carried on for hours about what a wonderful person you were. So now here you stand, outside the mythical Pearly Gates ready to see what this eternal paradise stuff is really all about. The famous St. Peter approaches, looking at you kindly; he takes your hands and smiles sweetly before explaining that there is an entrance exam that you must pass before you can gain admittance into Heaven. No one ever talked about that requirement back on Earth, but you suppose the people with knowledge on that kind of thing really weren't in any position to talk about.

So you take the form and a sharp #2 pencil and proceed to an empty desk. You sit down; glance around quickly at the other waiting souls scribbling their answers. Nervously you open the shining, white booklet to find that there is only one question to answer.

If you could go back and change only one thing that you did in your life what would you change?

I polled friends and family to see what responses they would have to such an intriguing question. The answers varied from large changes to no changes at all. Of the 50 responses I received 19 would have been nicer/kinder to people in their lives, 14 people wanted to end a relationship or leave a lover, 13 were assorted, and the remaining 5 people said they would not want to change a thing.

Interestingly more women than men wanted to go back and change a relationship, with only 1 man wanting to "...not have dated my ex at all." Generally the women wished that they had ended relationships sooner or had not had certain relationships at all. Three of the women polled wished they had not had as many lovers in their lifetime as they had.

Several women who are mothers wished they could have changed something about their parenting, either by being kinder and more patient with their children or by doing things differently either in their birth or in care of their child.

Some of the more serious answers were:

"I would have been kinder to my husband..."
"I would have appreciated my mother more while she was still alive"
"I would have never started smoking cigs"

People who did not want to change a thing generally had the same reason why.

"I don't honestly think I could change a single thing. For every bad thing that's happened thus far has lead me to something good."
"I've made lots of bad choices in my life but if I hadn't made them, I probably wouldn't be the person I am today, and I think I've become a pretty good person because of that."
"Changing the past to fix what I thought were mistakes would change the course of my life because they may not have been mistakes at all."

Some of the more humorous responses were:

"I would have killed my Mother in law"
"I would change getting dreadlocks. Everything else that I have done in my life that I might regret - has led me directly to something that I love/value/wouldn't want to be without. Except the hair thing. That, I would change."
"I would go back and fix whatever it was that put me in heaven because I am soooooo not ready to die yet!!"

So now it is your turn to answer. Think about the life you have lived so far. If you were to suddenly die tomorrow would you leave any regrets behind, would the people you love know how you feel, would there be tasks left undone? It is not something that many want to think about, but the fact is that it does happen everyday. Close your eyes, relax, and imagine yourself sitting there, holding that sharpened pencil, looking down at the single question bolded before you. How would you answer, what would your reply be?

If you could go back and change only one thing that you did in your life what would you change?