Chapter 2: Conflict Happens when Basic Needs Get Messed With

Read Chapter 1: Tyler challenges the teacher

Chapter 2: Mr. Campbell teaches the class about Passive, Aggressive, & Assertive Responses to Conflict

Mr. Campbell said, "Excellent question, Judy. Okay! There are three main responses to conflict. They are: PASSIVE, AGGRESSIVE, and ASSERTIVE." He put up a magnetized label card on the magnetic white board - one for PASSIVE, one for AGGRESSIVE, and one for ASSERTIVE.

Mr. Campbell then asked, "Does anybody know what a PASSIVE Response to Conflict would be?"

Cindy asked, "Mr. Campbell?"

Mr. Campbell responded, "Yes, Cindy?"

Cindy asked, "Do you want me to look that word up in the dictionary?"

Mr. Campbell said, "That would be great, Cindy."

Cindy paged through the dictionary until she found the word: PASSIVE.

Cindy said, "I've got it. Passive means: 'receiving or subjected to an action without acting in return. Accepting or submitting without resistance, compliant. Not participating, acting, or operating; inactive.'"

Mr. Campbell said, "Thank you, Cindy. So, what do all those words mean?"

Dennis said, "Well, it sounds like to me that it could be like someone hits you, but you don't hit back."

John said, "Hey! That's kind of like when it says in the Bible that Jesus said to 'turn the other cheek.' But man! That's hard to not want to get revenge when someone hits you. I have to admit that if that's PASSIVE, I'm not PASSIVE very often. Unless it's a girl who hits me! I don't hit girls - just guys!"

Mr. Campbell said, "Yes, not hitting back is one example of a PASSIVE Response to Conflict. There are many PASSIVE Responses to Conflict. Some of them are: Ignore or Avoid, Hide Feelings, Whine, Fake Crying, Give in to be Nice, Gossip or Rumors, Ignore a Conflict, Quiet Denials, Make Faces, Roll Eyes, Quiet Put-Downs, Tattle or Snitch, Attitude Thing."

(Note to Teacher: Post the PASSIVE poster at this point, if it is not already posted.)

* 3 Responses to Conflict: Passive, Aggressive, & Assertive

Judy said, "Oh, I've done that fake crying with my Dad. I always get my way when I do that, as he can't stand to see me cry."

Tyler said, "Yeah! I've done that ignoring a conflict a lot as I don't like to talk about my feelings."

Ted said, "I've sure done that Attitude thing with people that I don't much care for. I do that a lot!"

Mark said, "Hey, Mr. Campbell? I bet I know what AGGRESSIVE means."

Mr. Campbell said, "Go ahead, Mark."

Mark said, "AGGRESSIVE means to hit and yell and stuff."

Mr. Campbell said, "Exactly. Cindy, do you happen to have the definition for AGGRESSIVE?"

Cindy said, "I sure do, Mr. Campbell. It says it means: 'inclined to hostile behavior.' Yup, Mark! You were right!"

Mr. Campbell said, "Yes, there are several Responses to Conflict that would be considered to be AGGRESSIVE. They include: Yell, Hit, Push, Threats, Fights, Loud Denials, Stomp Around, Slam Doors, Loud Put-Downs, and Break or Destroy Things."

(Note to Teacher: Post the AGGRESSIVE poster at this point, if it is not already posted.)

* 3 Responses to Conflict: Passive, Aggressive, & Assertive

Sandra said, "So Mr. Campbell? If PASSIVE are all those sort of wimpy kind of actions and AGGRESSIVE are all those physical and verbal attacks, then I suppose ASSERTIVE must be all the nice ones."

Mr. Campbell said, "You are exactly right, Sandra."

Cindy said, "But Mr. Campbell? That doesn't seem to match what the dictionary says."

Mr. Campbell asked, "What does it say, Cindy?"

Cindy said, "The dictionary says that ASSERTIVE means 'to put oneself forward bodily or forcefully.' That definition doesn't sound all that nice."

Mr. Campbell said, "It does sound that way; however, being ASSERTIVE takes a whole lot of courage to do. For example, you can set firm boundaries with people when they are DISRESPECTING you. You can say nicely but very firmly, 'You know, it is NOT okay for you to put me down. I expect you to stop that if you truly want to keep being my friend.'"

Judy asked, "Okay, what else is considered to be ASSERTIVE?"

Mr. Campbell said, "ASSERTIVE Responses include: Sincere Apologies, Responsible Reporting, Compromise, Talk It Out, WIN-WIN Outcomes, Active Listening, Respecting, Understand Others, Manners, Firmly Set Boundaries, Acting on Morals, and Self-Mentor."

(Note to Teacher: Post the ASSERTIVE poster at this point, if it is not already posted.)

* 3 Responses to Conflict: Passive, Aggressive, & Assertive

Dennis said, "Wow! That's a whole lot of things to remember."

Mr. Campbell said, "Don't worry, Dennis. This is just a brief introduction to those words. We will do so many stories and role-plays that have PASSIVE, AGGRESSIVE, and ASSERTIVE Responses to Conflict in them, that by the time we take the test, you will be able to answer those questions very easily."

Most of the students in the class looked quite relieved and reassured to hear this. They also looked like they had concentrated about all they were capable of doing at the moment.

Mr. Campbell recognized this and said, "Okay, it's time for us to do a role-play. We are going to act out a story that illustrates everything that we just talked about."

Almost every student perked up, as they loved acting out those role-plays.

Mr. Campbell passed out the role-play called: "Conflict Happens When Basic Needs Get Messed With." Then, the students acted out the same role-play that you are about to act out right now.

Note to Teacher: Pass out the following role-play for the class to act out called: "Conflict Happens When Basic Needs Get Messed With."

Return to Basic Needs Lesson Plan Hub page for It All Happened Because Mark Overslept and Missed Breakfast.