Cheap, Over-looked Vacation Packages

Here are four over-look vacation spots that the whole family can enjoy on a budget. Pack your bags, get the kids, and board the dog because now you too can afford to take a luxurious vacation. If you are ready to discover the world, choose from one of these four great international destinations with packages from Hellatravel.

Club Gitmo
Nestled on lovely Guantanamo Bay on Cuba's eastern end, Club Gitmo is a great place for a back-to-health vacation. Your tour package includes:

• 1 hour of supervised exercise everyday in a state-of-the-art, well-equipped exercise yard. Personal supervision and motivation is supplied by trainers in tall towers around the yard.
• 3 ethnically and religiously correct meals per day to improve your inner-being. All meals are Kosher; just don't refer to them that way in front of the other guests.
• Unique sports opportunities such as waterbording, tunnel building with a spork, and standing in one place for hours.
  

You'll have the time of your life at Club Gitmo. You may even gain unwritten constitutional rights. Trial by jury doesn't apply to you? It may now! Just spend 3 years at Club Gitmo and receive a frequent-terrorist card. Have it stamped four times and your next act of atrocity is free.

Your hiatus at Club Gitmo my turn out to be so arresting that you never leave. So get the kids and drag your habeas corpus to Club Gitmo.

Baghdad
Beautiful downtown Baghdad's green zone beckons you to experience the cradle of civilization. A wall surrounds this oasis of urban sprawl keeping the desert as well as rocket-propelled grenades at bay. In cooperation with Hellatravel, a division of Halliburton, this exciting, trill-packed vacation package will have you running in the streets.

Conveniently located near the airport, the green zone is connected via high-speed convoy. You'll be whisked past the indigenous population, burning tires and IEDs straight to its luxurious appointments. Your stay will be highlighted by a serious of perilous excursions or day trips where you will:

• Take a PT boat cruise on the Tigris at high speed. Water skiing is available for those that know how to serpentine.
• Tour an ancient ziggurat. In reality, it is a modern mass grave, but it is large enough to pass for a ziggurat.
• Experience a simulated kidnapping by Islamic fundamentalist. Possibly experience a real one.
• Receive tickets to a taping of Iraq's hottest new game show Spot the Sunni.
• ...And be forced to convert to Islam. Remember, if you ain't Muslim. You ain't Shi'ite.

Darfur
Rejuvenate yourself in spacious Sudan where there is room for all as long as they're Janjaweed. The activities never end in wonderful Darfur.

• Ride a camel.
• Enjoy the local cuisine based on 50 lbs bags of U.N. rice.
• Enjoy some sand.
• Attempt to out run a machine-gun-mounted Toyota truck on a camel.
• See some sand.
• Ride a camel.
• Dodge a hail of AK-47 small-arms fire.
• Ride a camel in the sand.
• Play in the sand.
• Torch a small village.
• Play with a camel.
• Dig a mass grave out of sand.
• Ride a camel.
• Scrub away all your ethnicity with sand.

Free blue helmets for the kids!

The Basque "That's Euskadi to you" Region, Spain
Travel back to a time when things were simple. Learn one of the oldest languages on Earth. Spend a few weeks herding sheep or goats in the hills of Euskadi. Attend a traditional folk festival AKA daily life. Shed things modern. Activities include a three-day seminar on car bomb construction. On a budget? There is no need to travel to Spain. Visit Euskadi West in Nevada. Learn a language that is spoken by dozens.

Planning your trip
With a little planning, these vacation packages can be had on the cheap. Your Baghdad travel arrangements will be handled by the U.S. Army. It cost nothing but a signature at your local recruiter...er...travel agent's office. All meals and flights are included. Once in Iraq, you can start your Club Gitmo cruise by simply shooting civilians. All terms and conditions are completely transferable between the two facilities except who gets to hold the rifle.

Getting to Darfur may take some doing, but a quick call to Bono Travel will get you going. Simply volunteer to be a nosy do-gooder and off you go. You'll also receive a free, useless lapel ribbon to wear. Be sure to pack plenty of camel oats.

Travel to Euskadi is more difficult since they don't really like modern things. You may have to take a train as close as you can get and walk the rest of the way. Travel by car in the Basque Region is not recommended since cars there have a tendency to explode.

Happy traveling from Hellatravel where our motto is "See the world. Meet interesting people and kill them."