Cheating: Why Cheater's Cheat #1

I thought I would explore five common reasons why people cheat. There are certainly more reasons than that, which I expect to explore in future articles.

Just Plain Selfishness-

This is the most easily understood reason. They are just plain selfish and don't care who they hurt. They want what they want, Thire attitude is that of the "I want my cake and eat it too". These are usually very shallow people that really never learned to put anyone or their feelings before their own. They have no idea what the word empathy means. Often times they don't make too much effort to hide what there doing, and if you find out, their attitude is who cares. Because their cheating is based on narcissistic, self-gratification, the chances are it will happen more than once.

Avoiding A Problem-

This reasoning is a bit more complicated. It's not very understandable to those of us who don't handle problems by having sex with someone else. Usually there is some kind of problem in the relationship. Unfortunately this type of cheater does not want to talk about it, or do anything to fix it. They usually have an all around type of avoidant personality. They may be thinking:"If I just ignore the problem and distract myself it will go away, if not, at least I don't have to deal with it". Until this type of person gets help with dealing with their problems in a constructive way, they may keep have affairs to keep avoiding any confrontations with any problems.

Lacks Ability For True Intimacy-

This type of person cannot deal with true intimacy. Their idea of closeness is what position are we into tonight. They cannot emotionally get close to anyone. The more pressure that is put on them for love and affection, the more they want to go screaming into the night. Cheating with those they don't care about relieves the anxiety of having to be close with someone. This is a hard one to live with. Without a lot of counseling, this person will never learn how to deal with being close, and most likely keep on cheating.

Can't handle Aging-

Well we all have made jokes about this one. You know, the 45-year-old man in mid-life crisis, with the 25 year old, and the little red sports car. Well, it may be funny in jokes, but it's not funny to the one who is being cheated on. This person just cannot accept getting older. Their whole self-esteem and sense of self-worth is wrapped up in being admired and sought after. They never developed a sense that they were worth anything without their good looks, or great body. Often times people at this stage of life start to become depressed, and what better way to get the juices flowing, and the seratonin going, is to have a fling. This person would be better off getting help for their depression, and talking to someone they can trust about feeling old, then possibly losing their husband or wife.

Tit For Tat-

This one is the most infantile excuse. You cheated on me, so I'm going to cheat on you. It makes you wonder if they know what self-respect means. If one is strong in their self, and has integrity, they would not even consider doing something that is so harmful to a marriage, such as cheating. This is the point. The person who is actually doing the retaliatory cheating, is actually more messed up then the one who cheated first. This person needs to get some serious help for their co-dependency. The one who cheated first, just needs to get help with their selfishness, and lack of respect for others.

Well there you have it, some of the most common reasons people cheat. Please do not get "Reasons" confused with "Excuses". As far as I am concerned, there is NO EXCUSE on the face of the earth to cheat on a person you love. If you don't love them, have some respect and end the relationship before moving on!