Cheating on My Wife: Here I Go Again...

From the moment she appeared on my doorstep with her long sexy legs and long dark hair, with those dark brown engaging eyes that make you want to tell her everything personal you ever did in life. She turned out to be a insurance salesperson who for some reason unbeknownst to me had received my daughter's information from a previous insurance company.

I heard nothing she said honestly, but there was something about her that appealed to my sexual desires and masculinity urges to the highest level. Was it my usual, "I think she like me?", or was it her honest to goodness outgoing personality that flashed before me. What seemed like forever turned out to be only moments in both our lives, because somehow I gave her my home phone number, so she could talk to my wife about life insurance policies and so forth, and like that she was gone.

I found my way upstairs to say to myself, "Whose that, whose that?", while looking out my bedroom window to get a better glance of this sexy, God like creature who found her way to my ordinary doorsteps. I honestly put it out of my mind, until my wife mentioned to me that this same alluring woman was going to grace my presence again several days later, as she was going to sit with my wife and I and explain her companies excellent insurance policy and such. Of course I played it off to myself and wife when I mentioned how she almost fell down the steps on her way leaving as she tried to play it off with the picking up of papers that fell to the ground. We both laughed at her clumsiness, but my mind went directly to appearance, as she seemingly looked at me or so I thought. Before I knew it, she was at my door again. Thank God my wife was there, because I really would have acted like a straight fool. I normally don't go out of my way towards female guests per say because I don't want anyone saying to my wife your husband was acting inappropriately towards me in a sexual manner. So here I was, being the perfect host, offering food and drink, while helping my wife peddle her candles and cosmetics. I honestly flirted with this woman in front of my wife, without really knowing it at the time.

The three of us laughed, joked, ate, drank for nearly five hours as if we were the best of friends for the longest of time. Throughout the whole evening she opened up and shared personal experiences as did my wife and I, but the whole evening opened my eyes farther about my own selfish personal desires toward her. "Is this sexy, down the earth female really for real?, I ask myself as the evening winds down. Physically, um, she's, she's something to behold. Without her everyday three inch business attire heels, she's every bit of 5'"10 with legs that seem to go on forever. The best way to describe her body, is to go to your nearby cities ballet company. She can wear a potato sack as her everyday attire and have man stop their routine and just gawk as she strolls on by. The real kicker for me is her Jamaican accent that just makes me stop what I'm saying, so I can hang on her ever syllable and or word. I would love to get her upset just to hear the expletive words come from her lovely lips.

She speaks with such proper etiquette and exact verbiage that imagining her having intimate sex with my selfish being would be like,"Awesome!", as she so eloquently likes to say. Maybe it's me or it's my obvious hormones that have me thinking this wonderful, charming, smart, woman has some type of feelings, thoughts about me as I do her. I play her words back in my head, and try to read her body language as I came in contact with her several more times after that evening. The funny thing is, I can't seem to look her in the eyes when I talk to her for the most part because I believe the eyes never lie and she would definitely see right through me. She was on my mind so much that I feel like a dam school kid again as I constantly think about her, which is not good , especially when your making love to your wife.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family and most importantly my wife very much, but this young lady has me,"Straight tripping boo!" I haven't been the most faithful person my whole adult life especially when it comes to personal relationships and I sure as hell no right from wrong in every way. Even had the nerve to call her anonymously and leave her several messages, but no reply. Today I called her on her birthday to wish her well, and her voice had me dancing like a pink panda bear through orange blossoms, especially when she mentioned that I was the only one up until then who wished her birthday wishes. She gushed that I was so thoughtful and how she marveled that I remembered her today. I took the moment and or high road and apologized on leaving those anonymous message, but she evidently never checked her phone and retrieved her voice messages, but would as soon as she hung up with me. Of course she asked my what I said on left on the messages, but I quickly said it really wasn't that important and that it was quite embarrassing to me and that she would think differently about me if she heard them.

She laughed and promised she would erase the messages without hearing them. This woman has my mind on complete lock down for the most part, because I hung up so quickly and failed to mention that I was having a little family get together this coming weekend and would she like to come through with her young son and her significant other. She did mention of her working all day, but was free after 4:30 PM. My intentions are to finally see the end of this emotional roller coaster that I'm putting myself through and see if my somewhat like "Spider Sense" is still working or is it my male ego having the best of me. I look at several ways; she comes with her son and or significant other/family member or even not come at all, it would be actually cool in so many ways for me; but if she comes through with her son or solo; here I go again.