Checklist for Raising Responsible Kids

Personal responsibility is one of the most difficult to develop, yet important, character traits. Parents--not schools, churches, or organized sports--are children's best teachers.

By following these tips, you can help your child become act more responsibly at home, in the classroom, and for the future.

Have a set list of expectations. Most children thrive on guidelines. Create an age-appropriate, easy to understand list of daily and weekly chores. For younger children, this may include brushing their teeth and setting the table for dinner. For older children, the activities may be practicing a musical instrument or folding laundry. Be sure to revise the list often to cull off activities that have become habits.

Some things are mandatory. Make it a force of nature that your child cannot leave the house until her teeth are brushed, or play with friends unless his homework is completed. Stick to your guns here. Make personal responsibility a fact of life.

Give them the tools to succeed. A child told to clean her room without any direction is likely to be intimidated and overwhelmed by the task. Make sure your child has the skills and equipment needed to do his or her chores. Help out so that you can see where more storage or instruction may be needed. Be sure to look over homework. Not only will that help you see where your children need help, but you can make sure their homework station is stocked with everything they need.

Have appropriate rewards. A weekly allowance, however small, can help motivate children. Keep a chart of their chore progress and decide on a monetary penalty if the chart is not completed. Be sure to pay your child on time. If you keep promising to "make it up next week," the paycheck won't be much of an incentive.

Set an example of responsibility. Responsibility is best taught by showing, not by telling. Set your own list of expectations and make them mandatory! Don't watch television until the dishes are washed. Don't go to bed until the laundry is washed. Having a set routine will help you and your kids complete your chores.

Speak what you want to see. If you constantly tell your son that he is irresponsible, or complain to the family that your daughter is a slob, you are imprinting those qualities even deeper. Instead, brag proudly when he completes his chores and when she cleans her room. When they fall short, keep quiet.

By setting expectations, offering appropriate rewards and setting a good example, parents can help improve their children's chance of future success, and make daily life run a lot more smoothly.