Chicken Noodle Soup: Recipes for Bachelors Improves Upon Campbell's

-- Pour one can of Campbell's Condensed into a bowl. Don't add a whole can of water to the chicken noodle soup, bachelors, because this waters down the Campbell's Condensed too much. "Water to taste," so to speak, with a partial can added. It's sort of like "al dente" for pasta, except this is "al aqua" or something like that.

-- Nuke until bubbly. Now, bachelors, first of all, you must use a non-metallic bowl in the microwave. Believe it or not, several moons ago, I was acquainted with a bachelor who did not know even this basic fact. Or shall we say, he learned the hard way. And this fellow had ACT/SAT college entrance scores that were off the charts.

-- When bachelors remove the hot bowl with the chicken noodle soup inside, you must use insulated kitchen mitts or hot pads. You don't have any? Then, just use a pair of dish towels. You don't have any of those, either? This isn't looking good.

So there, that's our basic chicken noodle soup recipe for bachelors. But we are only beginning. Our main purpose here in the kitchen is to offer an advanced chicken noodle soup recipe for bachelors.

As a disclaimer, your author is not truly a bachelor. I only play one on AC. However, your author is a former bachelor, as are Most Men. Wait, I'm not Most Men either, I'm sensitive and caring .....

Maybe, bachelors, if you were more sensitive and caring, you wouldn't still be bachelors. In fact, you might demonstrate that you are sensitive and caring by preparing some advanced bachelor's recipe chicken noodle soup for the one you are courting.

The key is the noodles. Look, even if Campbell's Condensed chicken noodle soup contained steel screws when shipped from the factory, they still would get mushy after all that time in the can, swimming in that salty broth. You can buy hard noodles in a bag and them boil 'em, but those are also pretty boring. Ramen noodles? Don't even think about it.

Bachelors, we must make our own fresh noodles. And if we just exercise our own brain noodles a little bit, we can do this.

First, you need two eggs for each individual who will share your advanced bachelor's recipe chicken noodle soup. Just you and the lady? That's four eggs. What's that you say? She has two kids? And you're still courting her? My, you truly are sensitive and caring.

Probably they're just little squirts, though, so you'll only need one egg apiece for them. Now you need six eggs. If you are a real cheap-o, some supermarkets sell eggs in half-dozen cartons. Before purchasing, lift the styrofoam lid and make sure none are broken.

For each egg, you need 2/3 cup of flour. Six eggs X 2/3 = 12/3. Confused? That's four cups of flour, Bub. How did you even graduate elementary school, much less high school?

"What we do now," says Rachel Ray, acting like this is all so advanced, "is we take a big bowl, and we mix the six eggs with the four cups of flour. Next, we add some pepper for taste." The audience applauds the pepper. "Then, we grease our hands so that we can handle the egg dough." The audience goes wild.

Enough of Rachel Ray, Mr. Bachelor. Plus, she's taken, or at least so she says.

You also place a little grease, better known as vegetable oil, on a flat (and clean!) surface where you can spread the dough. You pat it down and push it around, just like you're pushing down pizza dough, as thin as you can get it. If you used to work at Little Caesar's, you might try spinning the dough ball on your finger, but that could be a disaster.

What next, bachelors? You allow your flattened dough to dry for several hours. This is why you have arisen early, shortly after noon, in order to prepare ahead of time. Later, when dry or semi-dry, cut the noodles with a sharp knife. Keep in mind that short noodles will fit better into the soup spoon, the Spaghetti-O theory of sorts.

Of course, you need broth for your advanced bachelor's recipe chicken noodle soup.. That's why they sell broth in cans. You need all sorts of vegetables. That's why they sell frozen mixed vegetables. You need chunks of chicken. That's why they sell chunks of chicken in cans. (Although if you are a sophisticate, you might consider sauteing and chopping a boneless skinless chicken breast. "Saute" means you turn on the burner sort of low, instead of full blast.)

A final key tip: Boil the homemade noodles in a separate pot of water, for 20 to 30 minutes. Then switch the noodles, with a slotted draining spoon, to the broth and veggies and chicken chunks at the last minute. This means the broth will remain more clear.

It's time to serve. Mmmm! She loves your chicken noodle soup. Mmmm! But the broth is still so steaming hot, she's burned her tongue and lips. Awww. Bachelor, you can make it feel better with a little kissy-kiss. Mmmm! But don't go French in front of the kids.

Next week, she invites you over to her place for her rendition of chicken noodle soup. As you watch in awe, she opens two cans of Campbell's Condensed and pours them into a bowl . . . .

Previous Recipes for Bachelors

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/585483/recipes_for_bachelors_pg2.html?cat=22

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/683667/bachelors_recipe_for_mexican_rice_pg2.html?cat=22