Child Abduction: How to Keep Your Child Safe

The Danger at Hand…

Ensuring your child's safety from abduction is imperative. Many times a child's kidnapper is a child molester as well. Tougher laws may help, but ultimately, the responsibility of your child's safety rests in your hands. How do you know if you are doing all you can to keep your child safe? It is not enough to tell you child 'Never talk to strangers.' In some cases, children are abducted by someone they know, whether it be a friend of the family or a family member. The key to keeping your child safe is in making sure they are 'street smart' at every stage in their lives.

Most of the time, parents emphasize to their children that they should be polite and respectful to others. Abductors know this and will try to instigate contact that seems perfectly innocent to the child. He may even offer to become their friend. Parents should make their children aware of this type of deception to keep them from becoming a victim.

One important point seems evident in children who have escaped being victims of abductions. Time and time again, the child RAN AWAY from the abductor. This is one of the most important things you can teach your child at any age. An abductor, like any criminal, wants an 'easy mark.' The more difficult it is to abduct his victim, and the more attention the victim draws to the situation, the more likely the abductor will leave him alone.

School Safety

Children spend a lot of time in school; therefore, it is imperative that you discuss school safety with your child. If your child walks to and from school each day, be sure you know the route he takes. If he decides to take a different route, make sure he informs you first. If he plans to be late coming home from school, find out why and where he will be. Be sure your child knows that no one is allowed to pick him up unless you or another parent (guardian) has designated that person to pick them up. If he has any doubts, he should inform school officials to double-check. You can put your child's mind at ease by giving them a special code word that only the person you designate would know.

Talk to your child and make sure he is vigilant at school. If he sees someone he perceives to be a stranger, he should make sure he informs a person in authority, such as a teacher, coach, or principal. Talk to your child about the seriousness of taking weapons to school. Be sure he is aware that he should tell someone in authority IMMEDIATELY if he sees or hears that another child has brought a weapon.

Strangers in a vehicle

Many times an abductor will try to trick the child into coming near their vehicle where they can nab him. He may tell the child he is looking for a lost pet and needs help; or he may offer the child a reward to help. He may even open the door and try to coax the child into the vehicle. Be sure to tell your child NEVER to accept rides or gifts from strangers, and NEVER to get near a stranger's car.

It's possible a stranger in a vehicle will follow your child. If this occurs, make sure your child knows he should immediately change directions and RUN. It will take a while for the stranger to turn the car around. Once the child runs, he should try to find someone in authority and inform them of the situation, asking them to call 911. Make sure your child knows who 'someone in authority' is: relative, police officer, store manager, etc.

Buddy System Safety

Become your child's buddy! If you are in a crowded store, ask your child to watch out for you. Tell him that if he loses sight of you, he should let you know. This helps your child practice awareness skills and gives him a sense of watching out for 'mom' or 'dad.' This proactive approach may save him from being abducted in a shopping center or at the mall.

If your child thinks he's being followed…

Be sure your child stays aware of his surroundings so he will notice if someone is following or approaching him. Tell him about the dangers of hanging around certain places, such as construction sites, parking lots, alleys, or abandoned houses. If your child believes he is being followed, he can draw attention to himself by shouting, "Stay away from me!" or "Stop hurting me!" or "You're not my mom/dad!" Making a lot of noise is the last thing an abductor wants.

Internet Safety

The Internet is a wonderful learning and researching tool for parents and children alike. However, it is also an easy way for predators to find vulnerable children. Be sure your child is not at risk when he is online. Enforce parental controls. Monitor computer usage.

Make sure your child never gives out any of the following personal information online:

Their name
Their address
Their school information

Also, emphasize that he must NEVER agree to meet with someone he is chatting with on the Internet. Treat each contact as a stranger.

What Your Child Should Know…

Your three- to four-year-old child should know…
Your three- to four-year-old child is not too young to talk to about safety from abduction. You will want to simplify the information from what you would tell an older child. When you are explaining what a stranger is and the ploys they may try to abduct him, conduct a role-play to drive the point home. The play can be fun, but make sure he realizes these are truths he needs to take seriously if someone should ever try to abduct him. If he doesn't react correctly to your role-play, do not criticize him, but 'practice' until he gets it right. Keep your teaching positive. Try to review the information you've taught him once a month. Above all, keep it fun.

Your five- to six-year-old child should know…
As your child gets older, continue the role play to enforce what you've taught him. However, now you can add more difficult situations. Introduce the 'buddy system' to help him 'keep up with you.' If your child is in school, you can go over situations that might arise in school or on the way to and from school. Ask your child how he would feel if this happened. Get his feedback. Review safety tips every few months. Again, keep it fun and enjoyable.

Your seven- to eight-year-old child should know…
At this age, your child should have a better understanding of child abduction. Continue the role-playing, adding more difficult scenarios. Ask for his feedback. In your teaching include the code word that only you, he, and a designated person would know. Make him realized he should not be embarrassed or too timid to ask for the code word if someone should come to pick him up from school. Talk about the seriousness of child abduction and how he should avoid contact with strangers.

Your nine- to twelve-year-old child should know…
By the time your child is nine to twelve, he should know most of the safety rules you've gone over for the past few years. He should know how to use the 'buddy system,' understand safety in school, and what to do if a stranger approaches him. Also, now is the time to discuss Internet safety, laying the ground rules for computer usage.

Self-defense Techniques for Your Child

1.If an assailant grabs your child around the throat with both of his hands, your child should:
Raise both hands high above his head.
Take a large step back with his right foot, twisting the hips sharply to the right to cause the assailant to release his hold.
Once released your child should run away and find someone in authority.

2.If an assailant grabs your child around the throat from the rear with both hands wrapped around the throat, your child should:

Raise both hands high above his head.
Take a large step diagonally backward with his right foot, twisting sharply to the right to cause the assailant to release his hold.

Once released your child should run away and find someone in authority.

Statistics

Preventing child abduction and molestation is the responsibility of law enforcement, the community, and you as a parent. The need for safety is evident.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice:
- Four million child molesters reside in the U.S.
- A typical molester will abuse between 30 and 60 children before they are arrested - and as many as 380 during their lifetime.
- One in three girls and one in seven boys will be molested at least once before age 18.
- There is, on average, one child molester per square mile (so, in a county of 2,000 sq. miles there are 2,000 possible problems).
- There are an estimated 63,000 convicted first-time offenders of child molestation in California alone. Statistics show that these offenders are four times more likely than other violent criminals to recommit their crime.

Preventing Child Abduction

There are some things you as a parent can do to help prevent your child from being abducted. Be aware of changes in your child's behavior; find out the causes and address them. Know where your child is at all times; know who they associate with. Make sure your child knows it is unacceptable to accept rides or gifts from strangers and from anyone else without your permission beforehand. Make sure your child knows he should let you know RIGHT AWAY if someone approaches him or touches him, making him feel uncomfortable. Take your child's concerns seriously. Let him know it is okay to say 'no' to an adult.

Above all, make sure your child knows these three pointers to keep them safe:
Never get in a vehicle with a stranger.
Never talk to strangers.
Always run from strangers.

Teaching your child these tips along with the above information at appropriate age levels will go a long way to keeping your child safe from abductors, predators, and molesters.

One more step is to have a CHILD SAFETY KIT. A good safety kit will include documents with your child's personal information, along with fingerprints. Keep this in the privacy of your home. In the event your child is abducted, give the information to the proper authorities. This will aid them in their investigation.