Child-led Weaning: Don't Worry, You Won't Have to Go with Him to College
What is child-led weaning
Child-led weaning is exactly what it sounds like: weaning on the child's own timeline. This is different from mother-led weaning, in which the mother chooses an arbitrary time to stop breastfeeding and encourages the child to wean. Child-led weaning is the most natural and least traumatic method of weaning your baby from the breast.
How it happens
When a child is ready to stop nursing, he will stop. Child-led weaning is a gradual process; it will not happen overnight. A good rule of thumb when practicing child-led weaning is "don't offer, don't refuse." If the child is not showing interest in breastfeeding, simply don't offer the breast. In the same token, don't refuse the breast or delay nursing if the child wants to nurse. True child-led weaning must occur on the child's terms, not at the convenience of the mother.
When it happens
Child-led weaning can happen anywhere from age 2 to age 7. When a baby "self-weans" suddenly or before the age of 2, it is almost always a nursing strike. A nursing strike is not the same as weaning, and the child should be encouraged to resume breastfeeding if possible.
When practicing child-led weaning, it is important to keep in mind that your child will eventually stop nursing on his own. Many mothers worry that their child will not know when to stop nursing, and that he may want to continue nursing well into the school years. There is a common joke that asks, "Will you still be nursing him when he goes to college?" But keep in mind that the human body is designed to expect breastmilk for at least two years, and up to the age of 7. If the child is truly allowed to lead the way, he will stop nursing on his own, well before adolescence.
Benefits of child-led weaning
Child-led weaning is nature's best method of weaning your child. Extended breastfeeding fosters a closeness between mother and child that is difficult to achieve by other means. The child learns to trust his instincts, and learns that his needs will be met in a timely manner.
Contrary to popular belief, child-led weaning may actually promote independence. The child learns to trust in his caregivers, which enables him to take risks. He knows that if something goes wrong, he has a "safety net" on which he can rely. Forcing a child to wean before he is ready can actually cause clinginess and insecurity.
Disadvantages of child-led weaning
The most obvious disadvantage of child-led weaning is that the mother will be breastfeeding for a longer period of time. For working mothers, this can sometimes be problematic.
Many mothers begin to feel resentful of their nursing children. They want their bodies back, and they grow tired of constantly being at the beck and call of a hungry baby. This is nothing to be ashamed of - it is perfectly normal. For the mother who has these feelings, child-led weaning may not work out. The child will sense the mother's frustration, and will be negatively affected.
For more information on child-led weaning, talk to a lactation consultant, or refer to the links at the end of this article.
Published by Amy Weekley
I'm a stay-at-home mother of two, loving every minute of it. Writing has long been my hobby, and I figure it's time to share my work with the rest of the world. Enjoy! View profile
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13 Comments
Post a CommentI like that you presented the information in a non-confrontational way, Amy. Knowledge is power and education is the key. Breastfeeding, like so many other issues can become almost an emotional blackmail issue. I firmly believe in breastfeeding; I breastfed all four children and had to cope with breastmilk coming in after the loss of one infant. I have a lot of guilt over some mistakes that I made when breastfeeding our eldest two. I wish that I had known then what I do now. I also wish that I had not listened to others, but to my own inner wisdom, but that was 20 years ago and we learn from mistakes. I am delighted to see so many young women enjoying the benefits and delights of breast-feeding. Keep up the wonderful work!
I agree with this. It does get hard though, especially when you have to nurse two. But nature's way is best!
I did this as well, though I hadn't planned on it. I nursed until around 15 months with both children, and it really ended because they lost interest, so it was quite uneventful rather than some drawn out stressful weaning process. Go tell Montel about it! Great article.
I am the mother of four children. I breast fed all of them for as long as possible. All were weaned by thirteen months of age for different reasons. I still regret having to wean the children so early even if for medical reasons in the case of my twins. Breast is best! Breast milk at three, four, and five would be a bit odd for me, but if it works for some moms that is terrific. I can definitely tell a difference between my children who were weaned very early for medical reasons when compared to my children who were breast fed longer.
Excellent article. Well-written and informative. I need to print this out for a few people...
Interesting article and one that is sure to generate controversy.
It's amazing how many behaviors children will wean themselves from.
Great article! It was extremely hard to hear some of the things I've heard lately from someone in my family *not going to say who ;)* who said that I should only be feeding my son breast milk 4 times a day. I still worry about leaving him at her house since he never gets fed enough breast milk while he is there. My husband said that we'll just have to keep reminding her that "We are the parents and if she can't feed him we will have to stop letting him stay with her." I can't help but think that the fact that she offered her child a lot of table foods before one year has to do with why she only had to nurse 4 times a day. I finally got her to stop telling me I was feeding him to much at his last doctor's appointment. I had her come in so that the doctor could tell her that I was doing the right thing for my child and that the solid food is just supplementing his breast feedings. My son will be turning one at the end of the month so I'm sure more people will start urging me to wean him
Bravo!!!!
Another great article! I enjoyed it as I am nursing my 2 year old (and newborn) and plan on child-led weaning for both of them. I totally agree that anytime weaning occurs before the 2nd b-day it is a nursing strike or parent-led. This is all new to me though as I weaned my first two babies around their 1st b-day... something I strongly regret!