Child Sexual Abuse

The true number of children are sexually abused each year in the United States is unknown. Sadly often children who "tell" about the abuse are not believed by the person they tell. If they are believed they must repeat their story many times before the case is resolved. Consider your last sexual encounter. Now think about telling every detail about that encounter to a stranger. That's just the beginning for a child. By the time a child sexual abuse case reaches the criminal court system it is estimated the child has told of their victimization seven to nine times.

What is considered child sexual abuse? Some of the more common sexual abuses seen by the criminal justice system are listed below. This is certainly not meant to be a complete listing. Depending on the state, child sexual abuse is any sexual act between an adult and a child. It is almost always sexual penetration, oral sex, intercourse, sodomy (anal entry), inappropriate touching such as touching or kissing a child's genitals, or breasts. This includes forcing a child to fondle an adult's genitals. Rape, incest, forcing a child to watch adults have or perform sexual acts is also considered sexual abuse.

Indicators of child sexual abuse

One of the best indicators of child sexual abuse is when a child tells you that they are being abused, they have and STD, or that they are pregnant. No one should ignore or tell a child they don't believe them, particularly a young child, if they claim sexual abuse. Everyone has the duty to report the abuse.

A child who has been or is being sexually abused often will act out. Behavioral changes may be blatant or very subtle. Indicators include poor grades in a child who has previously had good grades, or a child who has not had good grades may suddenly excel at school. The child may appear withdrawn or revert to infantile behavior. The child may begin bedwetting, refuse to go to bed, or show an irrational fear of a specific person or a certain place. An abused child may have poor peer relationships and isolate themselves from peers.

Personal hygiene may change. A child who wants a bath every day and is careful about appearance may suddenly fear a bath or not want to look their best. The opposite may also be true. Sexually abused girls may eat too much food in order to make themselves unattractive to an abuser. The child may become sexually permissive or have sexual knowledge beyond their years. They may engage in inappropriate sexualized behavior, seem overly focused on sex, sexual acts or body parts. An abused child may show aggression, sometimes excessive aggression, or they could become overly compliant. A child who is sexually abused may run away, commit delinquent acts, or begin to experiment with drugs or alcohol.

Acute indicators may be torn, stained, or bloody underclothing. Complaints of pain or itching in the genital area should be investigated, particularly if accompanied by bleeding from or around the genital area, or swollen or red areas in the vaginal or anal area. Obvious semen or stains in the underwear are also good indicators of sexual activity.

Who are the abusers?

Anyone may be an abuser. They are often:

Fathers
Step Fathers
Boy friends or live in boyfriends
Grandparents
Other relatives
Teachers
Neighbors
"Friends of the family"
Mothers
Siblings (particularly if the sibling was abused too)
Daycare workers
Babysitters
Foster Parents
Clergy
Coaches
Strangers

Preventing Child Sexual Abuse

There are no guarantees that the person you trust with your child will not be a pedophile or sexually abuse your child. There are some precautions parents can take. Be sure to fully check out anyone you consider leaving your child with. Just because they seem like a nice person does not mean they are. Ask for references and call the references. Ask the references for references. Use a licensed day care unless you are sure about a home daycare.

Listen to your child. If your child tells you someone makes them feel funny don't leave your child with them. Parents should never make a child kiss or hug someone the child does not want to hug or kiss. This does mean your Aunt Suzie will thank you, but you are allowing your child to make choices about who is allowed to touch them.

Tell your child that if anyone touches them inappropriately to tell you. Establish with the child what areas certain people can touch, why and when. Bathing suit areas are easy for a child to remember and you to explain.

If your child tells you someone touched them, ask them where and why. I had a child tell me someone touched his butt. When I asked him why they did that, he replied, "she washed it." He did what I asked and told me that someone had touched him. I was proud of the child for telling me, but at the same time I was relieved the touching was relevant to his personal hygiene. This is one way to avoid false claims of sexual abuse. Though false claims do happen, often careful initial questioning can quickly determine if a complaint needs to be made.

Find out who lives near you that is a registered sex offender. Most states now have a sex offender registry. Search your county and surrounding counties. Be ready for a shock.

In closing, pay attention to a child's behavioral clues, verbal clues, and physical evidence. If you don't know what to do, ask your local law enforcement. Child sexual abuse cases are far too common in most areas.

One more thing. If you were sexually abused by someone do not leave your child with them!