Child Sexual Abuse: The After Affects and How Parents Should Deal with It

I know each of us teach our children not to get into the car with strangers. We fear that they may get raped, molested or even killed. I did not remember till recently that I was also molested by a stranger about age eight the man told me he was looking for a kitty and stupid me thought I could help him. My parents always told me not to get in the car with strangers but he was very persuasive. It's not always the strangers who do this to children usually it is a friend or family. Children who have been abused often blame themselves I should know people started molesting me when I was about six my step grandfather did then. Then I had a neighbor when I was about nine who orally molested me everyday. Later when I got to be the age ten my foster dad and his three sons did for 22 months. The only reason social services took me out of that home was because I thought I was pregnant. My second foster dad fondled me which most think is not sexual abuse but it is. They then put me in my third foster home where my foster dad did it in the living room while watching down the dirt road to see if anyone was coming.

Social Workers did not listen when I tried telling them about the abuse and the spankings. My foster parents said they told them to whip me with a rubber hose because it did not leave marks. As if switches was not bad enough. Experts say that by age 18, one of every three girls and one of every five boys has been sexually abused. This doesn't have to happen to your kids always let them know that you will be there for them. Physical sexual abuse may include fondling a child's genitals, masturbation, oral-genital contact, digital penetration, and vaginal and anal intercourse. Sexual abuse is not solely restricted to physical contact; such abuse could include non contact abuse, such as exposure, voyeurism, and child pornography.

Sexual abuse can lead to all kinds of problems like bed wetting, Posttraumatic stress disorder, rage, and depression, withdrawal from family and friends, seductiveness, suicidal, alcoholism, drugs and seductiveness. I have dealt with most of these as I have been growing up. I am now dealing with the PTSD and depression. I have been going to counseling for a while now which is the third time. I have had to go after all the sexual abuse and the abuse with my ex husband and my boys dad. I am starting to freak out anytime I go anywhere. I am trying my best to remember something that happened to me before I was six. I know something did and have nightmares but cannot remember it. I do not want to see any children to go through what I am going through. Sexual abuse containing a child is a very serious thing and should not happen to anyone.

Life is hard enough for children without someone thinking that they should abuse them. I cannot figure out why they did this or what I did to cause them to do this to me. I know people say it was not my fault but when you have it done over and over and over again you wonder why. What did I do what could I have done to stop this? I see all these shows like Law and Order SVU where these pedophiles say the child was flirting with them I know that a child of that age doesn't even understand flirting. That is no excuse for a man or a woman to abuse a child. Anyone can be a victim of sexual abuse there is no limit on race, age, culture, economic background.

Talk to your children about abuse but remember to remain calm when you do it. Always trust your children. Children rarely lie about something as bad as abuse. Commend your child for telling you what happened. Make sure they know that it was not their fault. Talk to your kids' teachers, babysitters anyone who have been in contact with them during the day who may know if something has happened to them.

Take them to get help with a counselor if it happens to them. If your child has access to a computer you may have some more questions for them. Such as have you seen any pornographic pictures, has anyone asked any personal information about you, have you met anyone online that you do not know, have they asked to meet you in real life, have they sent you presents of any kind. There is a website you can message to let them know if something like this would to happen online (www.missingkids.com).

Please do whatever you have to do to keep your children safe. Talk to them till you are blue in the face or they say mom dad I have heard this all before. Tell them you love them and you will continue telling them this until you know they understand it and will listen. There is a lot of good people out there as well as lots of bad people. Do not let your children get hurt by the bad people. I want your children as well as mine to be living in a much safer world. I hope this will help some of you to better talk to your children and understand what it's like to deal with this.