Childhood Abuse and Neglect and Ways of Helping Them Cope

What is hope? The dictionary describes it as the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. For the kids I work with Hope has nothing to do with wants but their needs. Or should I say their basic needs. Some of these kids have been abused to the point they don't understand what Basic needs are. I have a few questions for you to think about. What are your basic needs and are they being met? This is something most of us take for granted. We never think that what we are getting can be considered Basic or much less a need. What is a basic need? A basic need is Food, Clothing, Medical care, Bathing, & human interaction. Although this is just a few (there are many) the children I work with don't even get that.

Child abuse and neglect has many horrible consequences; but the worst of them is the beliefs formed by the child about himself or herself which is often quite destructive in nature. Abuse is the most penetrating and permanent communication which more often than not, conveys to the victim one or more of the following messages:

1. I caused it to happen.
2. It's my fault.
3. I do not deserve any better.

Abuse is defined by the dictionary as to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way, To speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about, or to commit sexual assult upon.

Although boys can be sexually abused, in the center I work, there are 10 girls to every boys tha have beed sexually abused by a family member. Whether the victim is very young or a teenager, she or he takes deep within thereself all three messages above and develops negative perception about thereself which is self-destructive. They concludes that there is definitely something nasty and hateful within them which caused the older person to perform such an act upon them. They takes the entire blame unto thereself.

If a female child is molested or abused early in life, she is more prone to be drawn to the subject sex; a seductive quality will exude from her until she comes to terms with it.

What is neglect? The dictionary deffinition of neglect is to pay no attention or too little attention to; disregard or slight, to be remiss in the care or treatment of, or to omit, through indifference or carelessness.

Notable studies have shown that the effects of early childhood neglect can have on both the physical and chemical makeup of the brain. In particular, childhood abuse and/or neglect can permanently alter an individual's physiology. These physiological changes may lead to a greater likelihood of the person suffering from depression latter in life. In children they act out. Some even become violent to the point of exaustion. My job is to work with these kids and help them through this. Not in a medical stand point but in a way that lets them know that not everyone will hurt them. I am not claiming to have medical knowledege, because I don't I have no degree in social work. I work under people who set a particular guide line for me to fallow and I implement that to my best ability. Any medical or psycalogocal treatment is provided by the proper staff. I work mainly as a person who listens and if I feel they are a danger to themselves or someone else I report to the proper staff.

There are many forms of abuse not just in children but adults as well I work with the children but there are also abuse centers for adults where I work. They mainly are domestic violence shelters. Since domestic violence shelters offer mainly protection with little effective therapy, their clients nearly always go back to person who abuse them, and find it more abusive than the first time. And the cycle continues.

With the children however, there is a more extensive theropy process for them to learn to cope. And in most cases they are placed in loveing homes. Thats not saying all of them get the chance at a better life. Unfortunantly some return to the abuseive home as ordered by the courts. And in some cases they do age out. Or in other words they turn 18 before any effective theropy can be administer and in some of those cases the cycle continues. Meaning they go on to be the abuser. However some go on the lead productive lives and have great relationships. I work with one of the former kids of the Childrens center. She aged out and went on to work with abused kids on the premis she knows what they are going through. She has the ability to sympathis with them had that helps them to understand what is going on and gives them Hope that they can change.

Each and every employee brings something different to these kids. I help them divert their anger through artistic means. Some write poetry, Some paint, some even sing. I help them find their artistic side.

Before these kids come to the center they are labled as beyond all HOPE. I don't see that there is always hope. The sky is the limit for these kids. Not just artisticly speaking. They have as much potential as kids from any happy home and the hardest part of my job is getting them to see what I see in them. And anyone of us who work with them.

The one thing I would like for these kids if its possible is for everone who sees them or meets them is not to think they are hopeless but to see how special they are and to offer them the chance at being what every child can be.