Childhood Sexual Behavior

People frequently voice concerns about their infants who have been paying particular attention to their own genitals, and who also appeared to be enjoying the experience. It is fact that infants can derive pleasure from genital stimulation, and they will often rub themselves on a comfort item such as a blanket, even before the age of one year. The parents' need for concern about these actions, however, is not justified, since research has shown that unborn babies are also capable of erection and other forms of comforting activities which are obviously then, unrelated to sexual desires as adults know them.

A similar pattern continues into the toddler stage, with most children discovering themselves, and becoming curious about the genitals of their siblings or parents. Up to the age of approximately eight years, a child may have already masturbated many times in the company of his or her favorite baby doll, much to the horror of most parents who try to discourage the activity once it has been detected. Trying to discourage a three year old from an activity which brings a feeling of contentment can be difficult at best; children are not inhibited as adults are, and will most often fail to understand what all the fuss is about.

During the preadolescent period, masturbation is common, although it is thought that males are more likely to masturbate than females (Rathus, Nevid & Fichner-Rathus, 2005, p.433). Whereas girls are more likely to be concerned about the current fashion trends, hairstyles and lip gloss than what those ugly boys are doing, the boys may be content to hang out and mend a bicycle, or try their hand at smoking behind the garden shed. It is thought that "sexual urges are experienced by many preadolescents but may not emerge until adolescence" It has been the case that during this time where boys do indeed, like girls to some degree, although girls seem to have no interest whatsoever; outwardly anyway. A female to female intimate relationship of sorts might take place during this period too. It could be that a sleep over ended up in a game of show and tell or touch and feel, but these relationships are generally a flash in the pan experience, and are not indicative of future sexual preference. (Rathus, Nevid & Fichner-Rathus, 2005, p.433). In any case, it may be socially unacceptable for pre-teen girls to admit they wanted to kiss a boy; that just wouldn't be cool!

During the teen years, adolescents can find themselves in various predicaments, particularly if their sex education basics have been derived from television and the bragging of the school stud. It is these years when the lack of sex education, and misinformation from friends needs to be unraveled and translated into common sense facts. Unfortunately for many, teens pair off with a partner amid a flush of raging hormones, only to find they end up pregnant or infected with a sexually transmitted disease due to a lack of correct information about protection and sexual practices. Adolescence is a torrid time for our youth, and every care should be taken to provide them with the tools they need to make informed decisions, and to be made aware that discussing such issues with a parent or other responsible adult is the only sensible thing to do.

Aside from sexual urges, the teenager is often confused and lacks self-confidence, particularly when hair begins to grow in places where it was not visible a few months before, or when breasts begin to appear and pimples erupt, leaving an otherwise overly confident preteen girl in a state of panic and perceived disrepair. Nurturing the ego has never seemed as urgent to the parent of a child as it does right at this time, and when it comes to boyfriends and girlfriends, most would secretly feel they were in the same boat, despite neither of them admitting they feel so dorky.

It would seem that hormones have played a significant role in every behavior change to date, and only the onset of adulthood will see things settling to a tolerable level. Children will always be obsessed with genitals and what appears to be sexual activity due to these hormonal surges. As responsible parents, it is our job to educate ourselves so we can fully understand when each stage is taking place, and not be concerned that an overly affectionate child has developed premature homosexual or gay tendencies, or has been molested by some unknown neighborhood monster. Of course, we may also be seen as the enemy, for a time anyway. Figuring out what kind of advice is being handed out behind closed doors at a preteen slumber party might just provide the clues we need to understand why most of our children's confusion exists!

Reference

(Rathus, S.A., Nevid, J.S., and Fichner-Rathus, L. (2005). Human sexuality in a world of diversity. (6th ed.) Boston, MA: Allyn and Bacon).