Childless at 30: The Good, the Bad and the Myth

As I count the days to my 30th birthday, now seems like a great time to reflect upon the choices I've made and consider where I see myself headed in the future. Since turning 30 is considered a major milestone, I can't help but wonder if some doors are closing to me forever. Being childless at 30, for example, is something I hadn't given much thought to until recently. I've never really wanted children before, and I'm still not sure if I can see myself having children ever. But the older I get, the more the matter seems to be settling itself.

The good: being childless at 30 is now considered a valid lifestyle choice.

A handful of women in every culture have always chosen not to have children, and it's become a fairly common occurrence nowadays. When having children becomes an expensive burden that can damage a woman's career, many families are opting out of child rearing. A BBC report states that in many European countries, the rate of childlessness for women over 45 is around 10% and expected to rise to 20%. In Germany, almost 30% of women do not have children, most likely because of policies unfavorable to family life.

Reasons for choosing not to have children are similar in Europe and in the U.S. Some of us have chosen to remain single longer and cite that as the main reason for not producing offspring. Some of us who are childless at 30 and beyond do have spouses and partners, yet still have no desire to raise kids. Some of us rejoice in our child-free existence and are glad that actively choosing not to have children is becoming a socially acceptable way to live.

The bad: when your biological clock ticks anyway.

Being childless at 30 isn't all spontaneous road trips, all-night dance parties, and growing retirement funds. For as much fun as the childfree set claims to have, some of us do feel that little tug on the heartstrings every so often. For me, being childless at 30 means that I occasionally ponder the what-ifs, usually when I meet a friend's exceptionally bright kid or see a super-cute baby asleep on the bus.

The biological clock exists for a reason: without it, our species wouldn't feel compelled to make little copies of ourselves to carry on our genetic heritage. We'd go extinct pretty quickly without that inexplicable urge to cuddle babies and tickle toddles, because late-night feedings and dirty diapers don't charm anyone. Reasoning and logic can't totally suppress that biological instinct, so sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on a magical part of the human experience by choosing to not have children. Then I remember how much I don't like barf and plastic toys.

The myth: having a child after age 30 is no big deal.

Many people who do eventually want to have children are still childless at 30 because they choose to focus on career and education first. That's not a bad idea at all, especially because bringing a child into the world seems to interrupt everything else. People who choose to wait are often optimistic about their chances of conception. Unfortunately, being childless at 30 means that the window of opportunity is closing quickly.

Biologists have always known that the older a women gets, the less fertile she becomes. Older women's eggs are also not as stable, meaning that babies are more likely to be born with genetic or developmental disabilities like Down's syndrome. New research reported by Good Morning America indicates that the decline in a woman's fertility begins much younger than previously thought, and that at the age of 30, women only have 10% of their eggs left. Additionally, artificial methods of conception like in-vitro fertilization are also more successful in younger women. For some, waiting too long to have children might mean not being able to have them at all.

Sources:

The Rise of the Childfree, BBC News

Roger Fortuna and Suzan Clarke, For Women Who Want Kids, 'the Sooner the Better': 90 Percent of Eggs Gone By Age 30, ABC Good Morning America