Children and Behavioral Problems: Is Your Child an Indigo?

The term "Indigo Child" will mean different things to different people. While I'm not a health care professional of any kind, I am a parent of a very "difficult" child that I understand better that anyone else EVER could. I am the expert of my own kid, period.

Ever since the first year of preschool, my son has been labeled with behavior problems. They say he's non-compliant, and has problems following directions. Over the past 4 years in school he's been on several different "behavior plans" set up by the school. None have ever worked 100%.

It wasn't until a friend of mine mentioned the term "Indigo" that I began to question if there wasn't something slightly "different" about him. I did my research on the term. I compared the basis characteristics of Indigo children which fit him perfectly. Things like being extremely smart in certain areas of interest, mood swings, an attachment to animals (I've also been baffled how quickly he tames cats and how they seem drawn to him regardless how little he is), and so on. Honestly I finally felt like someone was describing my child. It was a huge relief to see my son was not the only kid who acts the way he does.

Often times an Indigo child is misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD, which we did question at one point in time. After reading some of the "symptoms", I felt like that label just didn't fit him. He loves to read and can sit quietly when he wants to (like on the computer), but is also a very active child that loves to be independent. True sometimes he just can't sit still, but he retains so much information it's amazing.

Indigo child, in my opinion, is being "misdiagnosed" as much as ADD/ADHD. Some parents label their kids as Indigo because they think their children are special, and need that validation. Well of course their children are special, all kids are! I've also heard many say "all my kids are Indigos", which I think is a stretch. Almost all kids are going to have at least one or two Indigo traits, but not all. I have two kids, and only one of them is an Indigo. I do believe my other child is special, but in the way all kids are. She is not an Indigo.

Regardless if you believe in the "spiritual" side of this theory, there IS this set of kids who are baffling counselors, doctors, teachers, and parents. He doesn't have any "disorders" or medical conditions to make him act this way. It's just the type of person he is. Do I believe they have a "purpose in life"? Not necessarily. Do I believe they need to be treated slightly different than other kids? Absolutely!

I'm not quick to buy into spiritual beliefs of any kind. But what I do see is my son is very smart and fighting the system he doesn't understand. He sees a better way of doing something that others (teachers, for example) think is just disobedience. For example, one day he did not want to put away his clothes upstairs in a shared closet with his sister. Instead he wanted them folded in his drawers (downstairs). At a quick glance I thought he was just fighting me on a chore, but when I took a second look at the situation I saw his way made much more sense. Shouldn't his clothes be in HIS room? Of course, and it's easier for him to have them down here.

Ever since we "figured him out", his home life has been much better. I respect him as the little adult he is, and give him detailed explanations as to why things have to be done a certain way OR work with him to come up with a better solution. I've also learned to take a step back and let him do things I know he can do alone. Part of his frustration is he people trying to help him when he doesn't want help. Granted there are some things he needs help with, but don't think he won't ask for help when he needs it.

School is another story. Because of his nature, school is a very difficult setting for him. Over the past few weeks school has gone from bad to worse. It started with one bad day where they threatened to send him home. He started acting very badly and they finally DID send him home. He's basically learned how to manipulate them to get what he wants, and they've played directly into it.

They also are not treating him with the respect he needs. For example, while in the office one day with him and the principal, he asks how many more minutes were left in the school day. The principal replied "about an hour" and he again asks "how many minutes?". The principal again stated "about an hour" and I saw my son getting angry. He did not ask "about" how much time, but "exactly". She was treating him like he would not understand a straight answer, but he does! I of course jumped in at this point and told him "40 minutes" and pointing at the clock behind him. A straight answer made him happy, and complied with the next series of requests. It makes me wonder how many other questions they aren't taking the time to answer fully that frustrate him.

Don't get me wrong, I am not labeling my son as an Indigo to avoid the issues at hand, nor am I "blaming" the school. I've worked with the school for 4 years, and it's just gotten worse. They aren't understanding him. We are currently going to a counselor outside the school in attempts to help him channel his frustration, anger, and learn to deal with situations (like school) that he has no control over. The label "Indigo Children" has mostly helped me in understand where he's coming from and helped our relationship at home. If given the proper chance (as we are learning to do now), it's amazing what this kid can do and what he understands.

So in conclusion, don't be quick to write off "Indigo Children" as some strange new age movement. You don't have to believe there is anything spiritual attached to the term, but rather just personality traits. Accept the fact your child may not need drugs, but just a different way of being raised. When you do your research, mentally block out the "spiritual" side of it all if you flat out don't believe. But do take note of the Indigo Child personality traits, because they may just be describing your child.