Children and Discipline

In todays busy world, it is sometimes difficult to remember to show our children how important and loved they are. In my recent observations, I have noticed that children these days tend to act out in disrespect more often than when I was growing up. When we were children, we probably would have had to face some form of physical discipline. I have also struggled with frustration when it comes to discipline and gaining the respect of my own children. In my opinion, alot of the time, children are acting out as a way to get our attention.

We go to work everyday for eight hours, sometimes more, we come home and it's all about rushing to get dinner on the table, homework done, and the daily chores. By the time it's all said and done, it's bedtime. I know you all know what I'm talking about. We do need to set aside a certain amount of time each evening at the least to do something constructive with our children. We sometimes forget that our children need our individual attention. I have always been an extremely busy working mother. I have realized, the reason my children are acting up in the evenings is because they are trying to get my attention.

My problem when my children would act out, was to loose my temper and yell. Well, I discovered, that only makes matters worse. I decided to re-evaluate
my situation and realized, I need to become more patient and set aside atleast 30 minutes each evening form my children to listen to how their day was at school, or just playing a board game. Most importantly, I had to evaluate how I discipline them. The number one and most important thing to do is to make your rules, expectations simple and clear to him. Use a firm, but gentle voice and look him in the eye. Be sure to give them positive attention when he follows the rules.

Make clear to him the consequences of his behavior. Give him a warning. When you give a warning with the consequences to follow, it redirects their attention to appropriate behaivor. If a consequence doesn't seem to be working, you may have to rethink the approach you are using. Are you being consistent in applying the consequences? If you give him a warning, the next time you need to follow through with the consequence. You will fail miserably if you never follow through with the consequence. I found that out the hard way. You can use time outs, take away a favorite toy for a set amount of time, give them an earlier bedtime, grounding is more effective with the older child. I learned grounding him for a week was less effective than just grounding them for that day. There are many different forms of consequences you can give him, just remember each child is an individual and what will work for one, may not work for another.

The most important thing to remember, when using discipline with your child, losing your temper and instantly start screaming at a child only makes matters worse. They block you out and it is not retained, so if you can look them in the eye, use a stern voice, they will hear you and be more likely to comply with your request. Last but not least, don't forget to set that special time aside for him, he'll be a happier child and Mom and Dad will be happier too.