Children and Divorce - Treating the Non-custodial Parent with Respect
Your child(ren) have had their lives turned upside down. Why would a parent further the distress by making the other parent not available. You have to be an adult. You made an adult decision to not be married and/or with this other person, this does not mean that your child(ren) have joined you or rejoice in your choice.
The non-custodial parent should be treated with the same respect that is given in the household the child lives in. The child needs to know that both parents are still there and available for them when needed. Emotionally, the child will need both parents now, more than ever. They need to know that just because they are not in the same household, that this parent still loves and cares for them.
Too often child support or outside relationships come into play. This only furthers the confusion on who and where the child(ren) fit in. A divorce is not about the child(ren). It is about two adults that are not compatible for one another. Denying the child(ren) of their parent is devastating. You made the choice not to live with this person, they did not.
Keeping open communications and general respect for another's person is important for a child(ren) to recover from the feelings of abandonment. Sometimes as the custodial parent you need to encourage communication between the child(ren) and the ex-spouse. Encouraging them to call after a good day at school. Perhaps calling about a test grade. The child(ren) should not be made to feel "bad" if they want to contact their a parent. You as the custodial parent, also need to keep the other party up to date on events concerning the child(ren).
It is your job as a parent to keep open communications and encourage good relations. In time, if these situations do not work out, you know you have not encourage estrangement of the other party. Divorce and separation is never easy. You just have to look at it through a child(ren)'s eyes. Your life has turned upside down, one parent isn't there everyday anymore. That doesn't mean that you , as a parent, have to be the person who makes it so devastating to take the other parent away completely
Published by Laura Egbers
I'm a wife, business partner, mother, step mother, grandmother and not neccessarily in that order. View profile
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2 Comments
Post a CommentGood article. I just have to add that the custodial parent also has a responsibility to give the information without harassing the non-custodial parent. I'm a non-custodial parent who is "allowed" to see my children, but only if I follow his rules and put up with his abuse. As a result, I have chosen not to see my children, because I've taken far too much abuse already. I hate no seeing my kids, but I think watching the abuse damages them more than not seeing me.
wonderful article!!