Children and the Internet: Easy Ways to Protect Your Child Online

The most troublesome of online things nowadays are predators. They're anywhere, everywhere and disguised as the most innocent acting of people. Sweet, sincere, perhape even a tad on the compassionate side. They'll talk to you with such sweetness that you'll have a toothache for weeks. Predators are everywhere, unfortunately. Pedophiles as well as other 'disturbed' people frequent the internet as much as a normal person. However, there are simple and easy ways to keep your child safe from these people.

Recently, I was playing a game on a rather popular gamesite when a girl started talking about her hometown. I, being curious, kept close watch over her conversation with another. She gave out her age, her hometown (oddly enough we share the same hometown) and what color her house was. Seems harmless, sure, however, when talking to her, I decided to play with her. Taking what information she had given, although vague, I drove to town and past her house. When I returned home I told her how easy it would've been to kidnap her had I been a child predator. Making the internet safe for children is a lot easier than one would think.

1 - asl, anybody?

It seems wherever there is chat, there is the infamous 'asl' question. For those parents not up to par on internet lingo, it stands for age sex location. If you choose to let your child onto an instant messenger or even any of the other numerous chat programs available, be sure to tell your child to NEVER give their age out - or even lie. Don't do either and don't believe others who insist they're as old as they state. They very well may be, however, they don't need to know you're child is a minor and chatting online.

Asking about gender seems harmless, however, it's definitely the least worrysome of the triad of asl. The only thing it pinpoints to others is if they want to attempt to hit on you, or if a predator, if they want to make you a target. In either case, it's still not advisable. Children and online dating don't tend to mesh well.

Emphasize that you do not give out your location under ANY circumstance. It's easy enough to do this, for example, on irc. (Internet Relay Chat) Anyone who knows how to do basic commands on there can type /whois followed by the username and this MAY give a subtle hint as to the person's location. Example, certain internet service providers can pinpoint really close as to where a user is from. Such as bflony.adelphia.net at the end of their information. This obviously states you're somewhere near Buffalo, New York and generally before that it give an IP which can be traced easily to where you are. So if your child or teenager is going to be chatting on an irc client be sure to make your wishes known that they do NOT give out anything age sex or location-wise to strangers. Not only may it put them in harm, but also the entire family.

2 - Got a pic?

Everyone knows that people can be totally dishonest online. From faking names and ages, they can even find pictures of strangers on the internet and 'claim' to be that face. That's why, even using websites such as myspace can be dangerous and lead to identity theft. Example: Myspace suggests if someone steals your picture that you send THEM a picture with a 'shout out' of who you are so that your identity isn't tossed around to anyone who thinks they want to be you. Others think that e-mailing a picture is more safe, however, you never know who or what may be looking at your their picture. It's best, again, to remain almost fully annonymous when coming to chatting with strangers.

This mortifying truth comes from a personal experience when I was working at a local motel. The owner rented out small one room apartments and one renter was an internet junkie. He was always connected and seemed always to be desiring chat with younger people. It wasn't until I went in to clean linens one day that we discovered a horrible truth about the man. Pasted on his wall around his computer were printed out images of children's faces from all different races and ages. We didn't know how he had aquired them, truthfully, nor did we want to know his use in them. The owner decided it be best to inquire. The tenant stated they were merely 'inspiration' for a book he was writing. Somehow, I doubted this was the case and made a vow then and there that my kids would never get a picture online when they were old enough to chat independantly.

3 - Wanna meet?

Probably the most nerve wracking thing for anyone is agreeing to meet someone online in person. Not only is it dangerous for adults, but double if not triple the danger for children. Often times, after conversations online escalate, people want to meet up. Not that meeting some kindred spirit from another place IS always bad. However, it's best to state to children that they never do this. Predators take this opportunity to lure the child out of their safe haven and into the public. Sometimes they even want to meet 'alone'. Movies like 'You've Got Mail' show a more innocent side to the meeting up, however, for children this may lead to kidnappings, rape and sadly, murder. Children need to know the danger of meeting some stranger exists even if they've talked for months online and 'seem' harmless. They weren't kidding when someone wise once stated, "Don't judge a book by its cover." If you need to, research cases of these traumas online and show your children the danger is very much real. They may think you're over reacting, but when it happens to someone else nearby, they will thank you.

4 - Cam2Cam

A popular play device nowadays are webcams. The excitement of being watched by a select few or by an indefinite number of strangers online can be a thrill for some. But Cam 2 Cam is a tad different. This generally involves 'play' with both people going on webcam to see and chat with each other. While it verifies the person's physical appearance, often times, this play tends to become more sexual in nature than an innocent cam to cam could and SHOULD be. This doesn't turn away some people, who, in spite of knowing a person's age is not quite legal, think that it's perfectly acceptable to display certain anatomical parts on cam for a child to view. However, it IS illegal. And not only can it land the adult in trouble, but, the child also has given the other a clear image of any belongings in their house behind them of value, as well as their face. This even moreso on 'free' cam programs like webcamplanet - who only offer a small box for childsafe cams and almost no people paying attention to that offer.

There are tons of other ways to protect your child online. The four mentioned seem to be the most critical in preventing anything harmful from occuring. But also, besides these mentioned, talk with your children. Express why they do not need to give out this information online. Above all else, spend time with your child. Monitor where they go and who they talk to. They may hate you for it now, but when they have children of their own - they'll understand.