Children May Be the Cause of Marital Dissatisfaction

Children are often blamed when a marriage begins to deteriorate. A recent study claims that children may actually cause marital problems. Some may look at this study as proof, but others may look at the study as a scapegoat for underlying marital problems before the first child was born. Though you may be shocked that such a study even took place, consider the facts before you judge.

According to Live Science, ninety percent of the 218 couples studied over an eight year period experienced a decrease in their marital satisfaction after their first child was born. It's hard to refute numbers like that. However, is the child really to blame or simply the stress of a major life change? Many major life changes such as a move or job change can cause marital stress as well. Children are even bigger stressors, however.

On the other side of the picture, couples without children also showed a decrease in marital satisfaction over time. It's possible all marriages have slumps after a certain number of years. One way many couples try to solve marital problems is by having children. This is another reason children may be seen as the cause of decreasing marital satisfaction.

Scott Stanley, a research professor at the University of Denver, says even though couples without children experience diminished marital happiness over time, children simply accelerate the process, according to Yahoo News. The deterioration process is seen most acutely right after birth.

Many adjustments must be made to accommodate a child into a lifestyle that's only included two people for months or years. Marriage requires compromise. By the time a child is born, most couples have become content with each and no longer notice their natural compromises. Children require even more compromise and make couples begin to miss their seemingly easy life from before the birth.

According to Live Science, a new study shows that couples who lived together before marriage had more problems handling a new family versus couples who lived separately before marriage. One reason for this may be due to having less time to get used to each other and a routine before a child comes along. Though a child is a major adjustment for any couple, the less set in your ways you are, the more you can embrace and handle change.

Yahoo News states that some couples actually become happier and more satisfied after the birth of a child. These couples were typically in a better situation financially. Pre-existing marital and financial problems tend to worsen after the birth of a child. By caring for a new child, the couple either ignores or has no time to deal with the pre-existing problems, so they problems only increase until the child is blamed.

More parents are depressed than non-parents, according to Live Science. Their reason is because parents receive less help at home than in prior generations. Another reason may be due to both parents wanting or needing to work. This can cause parents to feel depressed or guilty for not having time to spend with their child.

Children aren't always to blame for marital problems. They can cause some, but not all. Happiness within a family is different than marital happiness and more fulfilling according to some. The best thing to do is to be sure your marriage is ready for the life altering change known as having and raising a child. Don't have a child to solve problems, because this only causes more. As society changes, the number of couples experiencing marital distress due to a new child may decrease, but for now, the numbers remain surprisingly high.

For the original story visit LiveScience.