Children Say the Funniest Things

I love children. I have from my teenage years, which is why I now have ten children of my own and nine grandchildren so far. Children are very entertaining, and always provide comic relief. Here are some of my favorite funny things that have happened with my family.

One hot Texas summer day I was driving my old beat up Suburban, full of kids and grandkids in a circle around the downtown library, trying to find the curbside book drop off. I just couldn't seem to find it, and did not relish the idea of trying to find a parking spot and lugging so many children into the busy streets to return my books. At a stop light, I told the children we were going to pray and ask God to show us where the book drop off was. We all bowed our heads and prayed. The light turned green, we began another turn around the library, and suddenly, we spied the book drop off! Cheering, we dropped off our books and said a thank you prayer. As we happily drove away from downtown Fort Worth, I heard my young grandson, Marcus, pray in his high pitched little voice from the backseat: "Dear God, please get all these flies out of the car."

I guess he thought if it worked once, it would work twice?

I'm an older mom, having adopted three children after I turned fifty, adding to my seven biological children. Now 56, I guess I'm beginning to look my age, according to my six year old son. In the car once again, I heard him call from the back seat: "Mom, how old are you?"

"About twenty six." I lied hopefully.

"No you're not!" Son Luke informed me. "Are you a hundred yet?"

"What?" I exclaimed indignantly. "NO, I'm not a hundred yet!"

Quietly comptemplating that answer for a few minutes, he then asked "Are you almost?"

Sigh...

Many years ago, when my first daughter, Rachael was young, I was singing "Jesus Loves Me" with her. I went on into the second verse this time, singing: "Jesus died for all the children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight. Jesus died for all the children of the world!"

Rachael looked at me puzzled and asked, "Mommy, why did Jesus diaper all the children?"

Late one evening, I stood at the car, telling my younger sister goodbye after a visit. It seemed like our yard must have been full of thousands of crickets, who were all chirruping at once. My sister jokingly said, "You need to turn the volume down out here!" But little Beau, intently looking at the twinkling stars which seemed to fill the sky on this beautiful clear night, said, "Mommy, the stars are LOUD!"

Always a mom who is concerned about her children's health, I began to realize I might be getting through to my children when I asked one day where three year old Tommy was. Older brother Luke said he was outside playing with his trucks. It was a very hot summer day, and I asked in surprise, "In this heat?"

"I guess he's getting Vitamin D." Luke replied.

I guess I've always wondered why people with children need a TV!