Children and Security Items: How to Make Kids Feel at Home Wherever They May Be

As most parents know, a lot of children, of all ages have that one special item that they just won't let out of their sight. I, as many, many other parents, have gone through this phase with each and every one of my three children. Like most phases of life, this one also passes. It takes longer with some children than it does others. But, rest assured, it will pass.

When my oldest child was just a baby, he had a special blanket that he just had to have in his crib with him. It was nothing but a receiving blanket, but somehow, he knew that one particular blanket and no other would do. It was the blanket that he was wrapped up in when he was born. For the first 6 months of his, life, that blanket was his bit of security. Yes, like all new mothers, I held the little guy and comforted him whenever he made a fuss, and that did help to calm him, however; being a working mom, I couldn't always be there when he fussed. This blanket gave him a sense of security when I was gone. When it was nap time or bed time, though, if I wanted him to rest, I had to wrap him in this blanket, if I didn't he just would not rest.

When he was 6 months old and able to hold things a little, he was given a small teddy bear. After a short time, the blanket was no longer important for bed time, but that bear had to be within his sights. I guess he felt that he wasn't alone in the room if his teddy was there too.

As all kids do, he began to walk and talk. This is when he discovered a baby quilt that had teddy bears on it. At nap time, he took it upon himself to toddle around, find his teddy and this blanket, lie down and fall fast asleep. If he went anywhere, to the baby-sitter's, to Grandma's, just for a ride in the car, he always had to have these two special items. They gave him a sense of security when he wasn't at home. I felt like he would have to have these thing with him forever!
Now, at 11 years old, he doesn't have to take things with him, but he does still have a favorite blanket for bedtime. It is one that my mother made for him when he was about 2. He doesn't carry it around, but when he starts to miss his Grandparents and Uncle, He will hold on to that blanket as he falls asleep. It makes him feel a little closer to them.

My other children each had their special little things too. My youngest son was also a blanket holder. Until he was 4 years old, that blanket went everywhere with him! He finally gave it up, without a replacement when he accidentally ripped a big hole it the middle of it.

My daughter sucked her thumb and had a special blanket. The blanket was replaced with a baby doll when she was 3, but it took a lot of encouragement to break her of the thumb. She is 6 now, and has not sucked her thumb for about a month. She didn't do that in public after she turned 2, but she sure did in the privacy of her own room. I noticed that if she had a good day, and I was at home with her all day, she did it less.I found that I just had to keep encouraging her to hold her baby doll instead of sucking her thumb. Now, her security is as baby doll. Thankfully, though, this stage is passing quickly.

All of these items represented security for my kids, whether I was at home or not. The kids have all told me that there special items, "smell like you, mommy". (Except, of course, for my daughter's thumb) This is why I think that they cling to them as they do. They want to feel as if I am there with them no matter where they are.

All babies recognize their mother's scent. At least that's what I was told. I believe it because that seemed to be the main connection between my kids and their special items. The items held my scent, I provide safety and security for my children,therefor; when they held them, they felt closer to me.

The next time your child throws a fit because they can't find their special item, remember, this phase does pass. It happens before we know it. They just want it so they can feel closer to you when you aren't there. With my own children, I have found that the more stable and routine their life is, the faster this phase passes. If the child knows that you will be home when you say you will, that at this time, they eat, and after a bath they go to bed, they have a sense of security that things will be the same in the morning, or that you'll pick them up from school, or day care. Whatever the case may be. A child needs to know that he or she can count on the most important person in his or her life, and that is the parent. The sooner a positive routine is established, the sooner a child is willing to give up his or her security item.