Children's Book Author Colleen Robley Blake Talks About Divorce and Babysitters

Colleen H. Robley Blake is the author of several picture books for children. These stories are written in a rhyming prose, with vividly expressive illustrations by Randy Jennings. They are all based on the adventures of her own sons, Alex and Stephen.

Ms. Blake sent me complimentary copies of two of her titles for review on my blog: Mom, I Fired the Babysitter and Living with Mom, Spending Time with Dad. She was then kind enough to sit down for a Q&A about writing, divorce, and babysitters.

What is your background?

I spent most of my childhood in Trinidad, West Indies with my grandparents and moved to Brooklyn, New York at age twelve to live with my parents. I was married for 10 years and I currently reside in Connecticut with my two boys Stephen (18) and Alex (14) whom I use for inspiration for my non-fiction children picture books.

How did you get involved in writing children's books?

When Alex was 4 years old he would complain about not being able to do everything Stephen did. So one day I decided to write down everything he complained about and that's how "I Can't Wait Till I'm Five" was self published.

What are your collected works?

I Can't Wait Till I'm Five - Alex is a four year old who cannot wait until he is five to do everything his older brother does, play baseball, go to school and get his own library card.

Mom, I Fired The Babysitter - Alex thinks he's old enough to take care of himself, so after his mom hires a babysitter, he tries everything he can to fire her.

Living With Mom, Spending Time With Dad- Divorce can be extremely traumatic to families, especially children. This book takes us through a myriad of emotions that two children, Stephen and Alex, experience through this tumultuous period. Young Alex, especially, gives an extremely candid and honest account of the day to day trauma, the hostility, and at times the many poignant memories that he has.

What are some upcoming adventures for the boys, or other projects?

I am currently working on children's games, music, and my next book, "Do You Think Your Mom Could Cook Like Mine"?

Which is your favorite?

I cannot pick one. I love them all.

On what are your stories based?

My stories are based on real life events of my two boys.

What makes these books unique?

They are stories of actual events of Stephen and Alex to which kids of all ages can relate.

Why are these books important today?

It shows kids that they are not alone in whatever situation they are in. I remember the first time I read "Living with Mom, Spending Time with Dad". I was very nervous about introducing the book, but before I could get a couple pages in this little girl raised her hand and said "my mom and dad are getting a divorce because they are always fighting".

What does your family think of your stories?

Whenever I do book readings the kids cannot get enough of Alex and his adventures. As soon as he gets home I tell how much the kids loved the stories and the many questions they asked about him. He loves it. When I first started writing, Stephen and Alex told me no one would buy the books. I remember when Alex invited me for career day at his school and introduced me as an author not as a 411 operator (occupation) as I thought he would. That made my day.

Why did you choose to write in rhyme?

When Alex was four everyday he would watch his brother leave for school and ask "why can't I go". The first time his brother responded with "you can't go to school because you're not cool". I sat down at my kitchen table and wrote those words down not knowing at the time that they would flow so well. Everything just fell into place after that. I also love Dr. Seuss books.

Why did you provide reading exercises in the back?

I can remember growing up and having a hard time in school writing essays. Oh how I dreaded when it was time to read a book and write about it afterwards. I wanted my books to help the reader at an earlier age to understand the story much better and also personalize the questions.

About Mom, I Fired the Babysitter

Why is that babysitter so bad?

The babysitter is not bad, it's Alex's perception of her. Actually it is the whole family minus the mom. It is a true story of what my babysitter endured with Alex. No matter what she did, he found reason to complain. She was a blessing for me, but eventually as Alex grew older his dealings with the babysitter got worse, so I had to let her go.

What is your worst babysitter experience?

I received a call at work from Alex that the babysitter ran over his foot with the car.

What should parents look for in a babysitter?

Reliability

Great references

Interaction with the child.

How involved should children be in the choosing process?

Depending on the age of the child, the children should definitely have a major role in helping choose their babysitter.

What makes a good babysitter?

For me it was definitely reliability. My sitter was able to take my kids to their baseball practices, band practices etc. when I had to work. She was definitely helpful on snow days.

About Living With Mom, Spending Time With Dad

How were you able to get into Alex's head so well?

My divorce was very traumatic for my kids. I did not realize at the time how much they endured when their dad and I fought. I remember telling Alex about the book and he helped me remember a lot. Alex added a nice touch to the ending of the book. I love that part the most.

How did your own parents' divorce help you as a parent?

When my father left after the divorce I was very happy. He was very strict and did not allow us (brother and sister) to be close to our grandparents, who basically raised us. He wanted us home right after school not allowing us to talk to friends etc. I never wanted my kids to experience that kind of parenting.

How can parents best help kids during divorce?

Keeping communication lines open with each other. A divorce is hard in itself, but it becomes much harder when both parents are not communicating with each other, but through the kids.

Minimizing the tension and not fighting in front of the children. It also helps when parents are not bad mouthing each other.

When parents are going through a divorce, their attention often turns inward to their own problems. How can they bring the focus back to the kids?

Always remember that the kids are hurting just as much. To show them as much love and let them know that you are both there for them no matter what. Always, always, remember to speak nice about the other parent.

What is most important to remember during the process?

Try to be as civil to each other as possible. Especially, in front of the kids.

When parents decide to get a divorce, both parents should tell the kids together.

For what should parents be on the lookout in their kids?

Withdrawal. Stress.

What was the toughest question to answer from the kids?

Why did "dad" have to leave the house. It seemed as though I was the bad guy in this situation.

What are some of the best resources for families in these times?

Counseling and books.

Thank you so much for your time and for writing these books!